When it rains, it pours.

I haven't been feeling well for the past few days. I have the flu, I think, and absolutely no time to spend all day in bed and relax. But if I'm up for more than few hours, I feel like I'm burning out, I'm short of breath and I start feeling dizzy.

I don't like being sick. When you're sick, you realize how alone you are. I was stretched out on my couch last night, really not feeling all that great, and terribly thirsty. But there was nobody to go to the fridge and get iced tea for me. And even though it's just in the next room, it cost me a lot of energy to get it myself. :( Those are the moments when you truly miss your mom, who used to spoil you when you were sick. Where are the days when you could just call for your mom and she'd bring you tea and soup or anything you asked for? Being sick wasn't so bad when you got out of school and were getting spoiled at home. Now, when you still have to work and have to get everything yourself, being sick really isn't fun.

Anyway, as if this wasn't enough: I was watching TV and had started dozing off, when I heard two male voices and a lot of movement outside my door. I knew something was wrong, but nothing prepared me for that...
As I opened my door, I saw a trash can that had been dragged in from outside and dumped out right outside my apartment door. On the floor was some weird brown fluid/mess and I saw a guy running down the hallway pulling up his pants (use your own imagination to figure out what happened). His friend was rushing out the other door. Half asleep and only seeing the back of them, I really couldn't tell who they were. I didn't have my keys on me or shoes on or was in the right physical condition to chase after them. So there was nothing left to do but call the police and file a report. Then, I tried to call emergency maintenance because I was NOT going to clean up that mess myself. And it started to smell, so there was no chance of me going to bed with that smell right outside my apartment. Of course, our Emergency Maintenance service didn't pick up the phone. So much for "emergency" maintenance...I guess you're only allowed to have emergencies during work hours. Finally, a police officer came over to help me clean up.
And of course, one of my residents had been sitting in the Lobby and must have seen something (or at least the guy running away) but was insisting that she hadn't seen anything. As if!!!

I e-mailed my supervisor before I went to sleep to let him know what happened. So the next morning, I expected there to be an e-mail or a voicemail checking in with me and making sure I was okay. I mean, that isn't too much to ask for, right? But nothing. A few hours later, I got an e-mail from my supervisor about a stupid meeting we were having that day; still no comment on the whole incident. Finally, that afternoon after the meeting, which was regarding something completely different, he asked what had happened last night. But to be honest, at this point, it was too late...because I was already frustrated. I mean, we talk so much about ensuring our students' safety, but has anyone ever thought about the staff's safety?
I guess the mature thing would have been to say something to my supervisor at this time; to express that I wasn't feeling supported or that I had hoped for a different and faster reaction. But what's the point in telling people that you want them to care about you and your well-being? Even if they express their concern then, it won't feel genuine because you had to ask them to do it first; and you'll still feel as alone and will still question if anyone cares.

It's like this Fall, when a mother made assumptions about my sexual orientation and told me that "nobody should have to live with a person like me." When I told my supervisors about this incident, they said that I did the right thing by telling this woman that we didn't move anyone based on their sexual orientation and backed me up on that decision; but nobody ever checked in with me to make sure I was okay or that I was feeling safe.

I guess I should have known when I went into this profession that things like this would happen. And I can handle it. It'd just be nice to get a phone call after an incident like that and have your supervisor say something like, "I'm sorry this happened to you. Are you okay?" It'd just make me feel like people in this department actually care about me and how I'm doing.