Mood: excited
To Do List: shower, ironing, grading papers, getting some sleep
It's Sunday evening, or actually Monday morning already, and as always, I'm asking myself, "Where did the weekend go?"
It was a quite eventful weekend, but not a very productive one. Well, after last weekend where we had Community Council Training on Saturday and a Leadership Conference on Sunday, I deserved a little time to relax and do nothing. So Friday, after a long day of meetings and advising, I went to a broomball game (broomball is this weird sport played on ice in special broomball shoes and with these little stick-broom things...similar to ice hockey...i'm not sure how to explain it). A couple of my residents have an intramural team (well, there's actually several teams in my building) and named it after me, so I figured I should show my support. I have to admit, it was kind of flattering to have a broomball team named after me...haha.
Well, I met one of the other staff members there and we hung out watching the students play broomball for a while. Then, we went to the Student Union and watched a movie there. I got back and hung out with my RAs who were on duty. We just talked. I'd been so busy that past week that I hadn't really seen them in a while, so it was really nice just to catch up.
On Saturday, I slept in late...after all it was the first time in weeks when I had a chance to sleep in. Then, I hung around the apartment for a while, watching TV, not really doing anything. At night, we went out to one of the state parks in the area and hung out at a friend's house (he works at the state park) and celebrated a couple of birthdays from that past week. It was pretty nice. I have to admit though, sometimes I have more fun hanging out with my RAs than with colleagues. I just feel like certain colleagues judge me for the fact that I don't drink alcohol. You would think that in Student Affairs - a field where we all try to educate our residents about safe and responsible drinking and making smart choices - we would be supportive of staff members who choose not to drink. Yeah, not so much. Half the time, I don't even get invited. And when I do, it's just kinda awkward because people tend to make a big deal out of me not drinking. Last night was actually much better than it had previously been. I think people here are slowly getting used to the fact that I don't drink. And maybe I'm the one making it awkward sometimes...but after dealing with drunk and stupid students I just don't have much patience for colleagues who get trashed. I mean, haven't we grown out of that phase yet? It's not like we're still 18 years old! But then again, think of the social activities at our regional and national conferences and some of the behavior you can witness there.... Enough said!
I know sometimes I'm also very quiet at those events. It's just that I'm usually thinking about a million things. And I just haven't found that "soulmate" here yet that I can just talk to and vent and be totally honest with. And until you have that kind of relationship, it's just hard to talk sometimes, you know.
But no, Saturdaynight was definitely fun.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you about the most thing that happened Saturday. I bought my plane tickets to go to Austria over winter break. $700! But it'll be worth it just to get out of here and to see my friends and family again. I haven't been at home in four years. How crazy is that??? So it's definitely exciting that I'm going to get home. It's also a little scary. My family and I sometimes fight and that's never good...I never mean to, it just somehow happens. And I really don't want to fight...not when we only see each other every few years. But how can you stop that?
Anyway, I'm not trying to think about that...I'm just trying to be excited. :)
I e-mailed my friends to give them the dates of when I'll be home and we've already started talking about what we wanted to do together and when we could hang out. I can't wait!!!
Oh yeah, I guess since I'm writing about my "weekend," I should also mention SUNDAY. I guess that's part of the weekend for normal people, huh? Not so much here. I had six advising appointments today. In between, I talked to a couple of my RAs...just really catching up on things and trying to get a heads start for the week. And now it's late at night/early in the morning and I feel like I still have all these things that I should have been doing. Is it Fall Break yet? Or even better...WINTER BREAK IN AUSTRIA!!! :)
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Frustrations
Mood: Content
If your life was made into a Hollywood, who would you want to play you and why: Alicia Silverstone because she is an animal rights activitist and overall a pretty good role model for a Hollywood star (e.g. she refused to lose weight even though people were criticizing her weight...when really she looked just fine). OR if it was a musical, it'd have to Hilary Duff just because I like her and she can sing.
I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV (A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff), working on a bulletin board, downloading music (legally, of course) and updating this blog. Oh and I'm also making dinner (vegan nuggets and fries). If that isn't multi-tasking, I don't know what is. :)
Here's one of my goals for this semester: Learn how to better manage frustration. I have a tendency to let frustration get to me...and then I'm all mad and annoyed and it just drags me down. And in the long run, all this being mad and worrying doesn't help. So I want to learn how to accept the frustrations of life, try to fix them but not let them bother me.
I'm not doing so well...but somehow, I've been upset and frustrated all week...but somehow today I've managed to just kind of put all those negative thoughts aside and I'm feeling pretty content.
But let me tell you all about my frustrations:
First there were the Community Council elections. My two graduate assistants (one advises the Community Council in our building, the other one has taken on the council in another building) had to deal with all that drama but as their supervisor, I felt their frustration. So this Central Staff member offered to help with putting the elections online...they were just supposed to send him the info the day before elections. They did and then the day of election comes and there's no online elections, no e-mail sent out to residents, no information for us on what's going on. Residents are knocking on all of our doors asking what's going on. Remember, I am in the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community...so at least some of my residents are taking these council elections really serious.
Well, the grads and I decided we'd just figure out this online election thing ourselves. So the grads set up those elections, e-mail our residents and extend the deadline for one day. That day, Thursday (one day after elections were supposed to happen) at 4:30 PM (our elections ended at 5 PM) a second e-mail comes out with a link to vote in elections and a new deadline (Friday) AND it looks like the e-mail is coming from my grad's e-mail address. Turns out, our central staff member did finally get around to setting up those elections and just sent them out without checking in with us...a day and a half late.
You can imagine the confusion amongst residents. Both of my grads sent out clarification e-mails in an attempt to save the situation. It worked alright for our building. It didn't work so well in the other building and there had to be a re-count and lots more e-mails. My poor grad (she's a first-year and new to ResLife) had her first Academic Advising Workshop (workshops we do for each corridor, explaining some of the basics about academic advising to them) and one of the residents says, "Oh, you're the person who's been sending us those 120 e-mails." What a great way to start the semester and her career in ResLife for her! (*sarcasm*)
And there was nothing I could do...other than listen to them vent and trying to help them save the situation from turning worse. But of course they were worried about looking like incompetent fools in front of the residents and there really wasn't much we could do to change that. Argh!!!
I mean, I appreciate the offer of the Central Staff member to help with online elections. But if you won't have time to do them, then don't volunteer! Or if something comes up and you can't get them done, at least send us an e-mail saying, "Hey, sorry, they'll be up tomorrow." And do NOT send e-mails from our e-mail address (I still don't know how he managed to do that).
Still trying to get over that frustration, I'm sitting in my office on Friday afternoon, when I get an e-mail around 4:30 PM about Senator Training (one of the positions on our councils). And guess what the e-mail stated? Senator Training is TODAY at 5 PM or there's a section session tomorrow. Wow, we get a whole 30 minute notice...wasn't that nice. So there we go again...my grad's trying to hunt down the student praying that he'll be free at 5. Fortunately he was. But how professional does that make us look when we tell him about training half an hour before it starts?
Of course everyone else was to blame. And I'm not saying it's the RHA's Advisor's fault. But it's one of those things you can predict as an advisor (apparently they knew the date, just not the specific time and location...and supposedly that information was in the packets handed out by RHA members to students at Info sessions - info sessions nobody attended by the way since we all had our own info sessions because we weren't told until last minute when the RHA one's would be....but this vital information wasn't in the Elections Packets e-mailed to advisors, which were the ones we, of course, used). I know that when you work with student organization, you have to find a balance between stepping in and "saving" them and letting them fail and learn from those experiences. But when all of your advisory staff and the success of 36 student organizations depend on something getting done on time, you need to be a little more hands-on as an advisor. Otherwise, you're just setting us all up for failure. And it's not like it'll be RHA's fault when Community Councils aren't working out. No, it'll be the fault of the advisors.
WHAT A MESS!!!
And what makes this even more frustrating for me is that I worked with RHA last year. I went through that whole process. And my co-advisor and I came up with all these things we wanted to make sure happened this summer and mistakes from the past that we wanted to avoid. And what happened to all that work? Nothing. It's like we're repeating all the mistakes from the past. Okay, maybe it's not that bad...there's some things the students have improved on their own. But there's just a lot more that the advisors could have been doing to support them and make this a truly successful year. And once they're off to the right start, they could step back and let them figure out things on their own.
I'm not advocating for doing their work for them. But maybe guiding them to set earlier deadlines, so when things don't get done, you can still work with them to fix it.
Okay, I'm gonna be really really honest here...part of this frustration is that I'm torn. Half of me wants RHA to succeed this year (because I love those students...I know how much they want this and how much RHA means to them...and they're fabulous...they just need a little guidance and support) and then the other half wants them to fail miserable. Because it would serve the department right for not giving RHA to me.
*Shrug* Like I said, I need to learn to better manage my frustrations. So let's not think about RHA right now but get back to work on this exciting Saturday night (yeah, so much for balance...I worked today and I have to work tomorrow...and not by choice or any slacking/procrastinating on my part). *Deep breath*
It'll be alright!
If your life was made into a Hollywood, who would you want to play you and why: Alicia Silverstone because she is an animal rights activitist and overall a pretty good role model for a Hollywood star (e.g. she refused to lose weight even though people were criticizing her weight...when really she looked just fine). OR if it was a musical, it'd have to Hilary Duff just because I like her and she can sing.
I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV (A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff), working on a bulletin board, downloading music (legally, of course) and updating this blog. Oh and I'm also making dinner (vegan nuggets and fries). If that isn't multi-tasking, I don't know what is. :)
Here's one of my goals for this semester: Learn how to better manage frustration. I have a tendency to let frustration get to me...and then I'm all mad and annoyed and it just drags me down. And in the long run, all this being mad and worrying doesn't help. So I want to learn how to accept the frustrations of life, try to fix them but not let them bother me.
I'm not doing so well...but somehow, I've been upset and frustrated all week...but somehow today I've managed to just kind of put all those negative thoughts aside and I'm feeling pretty content.
But let me tell you all about my frustrations:
First there were the Community Council elections. My two graduate assistants (one advises the Community Council in our building, the other one has taken on the council in another building) had to deal with all that drama but as their supervisor, I felt their frustration. So this Central Staff member offered to help with putting the elections online...they were just supposed to send him the info the day before elections. They did and then the day of election comes and there's no online elections, no e-mail sent out to residents, no information for us on what's going on. Residents are knocking on all of our doors asking what's going on. Remember, I am in the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community...so at least some of my residents are taking these council elections really serious.
Well, the grads and I decided we'd just figure out this online election thing ourselves. So the grads set up those elections, e-mail our residents and extend the deadline for one day. That day, Thursday (one day after elections were supposed to happen) at 4:30 PM (our elections ended at 5 PM) a second e-mail comes out with a link to vote in elections and a new deadline (Friday) AND it looks like the e-mail is coming from my grad's e-mail address. Turns out, our central staff member did finally get around to setting up those elections and just sent them out without checking in with us...a day and a half late.
You can imagine the confusion amongst residents. Both of my grads sent out clarification e-mails in an attempt to save the situation. It worked alright for our building. It didn't work so well in the other building and there had to be a re-count and lots more e-mails. My poor grad (she's a first-year and new to ResLife) had her first Academic Advising Workshop (workshops we do for each corridor, explaining some of the basics about academic advising to them) and one of the residents says, "Oh, you're the person who's been sending us those 120 e-mails." What a great way to start the semester and her career in ResLife for her! (*sarcasm*)
And there was nothing I could do...other than listen to them vent and trying to help them save the situation from turning worse. But of course they were worried about looking like incompetent fools in front of the residents and there really wasn't much we could do to change that. Argh!!!
I mean, I appreciate the offer of the Central Staff member to help with online elections. But if you won't have time to do them, then don't volunteer! Or if something comes up and you can't get them done, at least send us an e-mail saying, "Hey, sorry, they'll be up tomorrow." And do NOT send e-mails from our e-mail address (I still don't know how he managed to do that).
Still trying to get over that frustration, I'm sitting in my office on Friday afternoon, when I get an e-mail around 4:30 PM about Senator Training (one of the positions on our councils). And guess what the e-mail stated? Senator Training is TODAY at 5 PM or there's a section session tomorrow. Wow, we get a whole 30 minute notice...wasn't that nice. So there we go again...my grad's trying to hunt down the student praying that he'll be free at 5. Fortunately he was. But how professional does that make us look when we tell him about training half an hour before it starts?
Of course everyone else was to blame. And I'm not saying it's the RHA's Advisor's fault. But it's one of those things you can predict as an advisor (apparently they knew the date, just not the specific time and location...and supposedly that information was in the packets handed out by RHA members to students at Info sessions - info sessions nobody attended by the way since we all had our own info sessions because we weren't told until last minute when the RHA one's would be....but this vital information wasn't in the Elections Packets e-mailed to advisors, which were the ones we, of course, used). I know that when you work with student organization, you have to find a balance between stepping in and "saving" them and letting them fail and learn from those experiences. But when all of your advisory staff and the success of 36 student organizations depend on something getting done on time, you need to be a little more hands-on as an advisor. Otherwise, you're just setting us all up for failure. And it's not like it'll be RHA's fault when Community Councils aren't working out. No, it'll be the fault of the advisors.
WHAT A MESS!!!
And what makes this even more frustrating for me is that I worked with RHA last year. I went through that whole process. And my co-advisor and I came up with all these things we wanted to make sure happened this summer and mistakes from the past that we wanted to avoid. And what happened to all that work? Nothing. It's like we're repeating all the mistakes from the past. Okay, maybe it's not that bad...there's some things the students have improved on their own. But there's just a lot more that the advisors could have been doing to support them and make this a truly successful year. And once they're off to the right start, they could step back and let them figure out things on their own.
I'm not advocating for doing their work for them. But maybe guiding them to set earlier deadlines, so when things don't get done, you can still work with them to fix it.
Okay, I'm gonna be really really honest here...part of this frustration is that I'm torn. Half of me wants RHA to succeed this year (because I love those students...I know how much they want this and how much RHA means to them...and they're fabulous...they just need a little guidance and support) and then the other half wants them to fail miserable. Because it would serve the department right for not giving RHA to me.
*Shrug* Like I said, I need to learn to better manage my frustrations. So let's not think about RHA right now but get back to work on this exciting Saturday night (yeah, so much for balance...I worked today and I have to work tomorrow...and not by choice or any slacking/procrastinating on my part). *Deep breath*
It'll be alright!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
To live and learn...
TV show I'm watching while writing this: Cory in the House (yup, you gotta love that Disneychannel)
Quote of the Day: "The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way." - Henry Miller
It's Sunday and I've just spent the past few hours preparing for my staff meeting. Yup, working on a Sunday...but I know this week will be crazy (actually the next few weeks), so I'd rather have everything ready to go.
I work with the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community this year. And I've decided to try this new Residential Curriculum approach. So I spent all summer developing the outline of our curriculum. What I didn't get around to was making all the handouts and resource guides for my staff.
But let me start from the beginning...
This whole idea of having a Residential Curriculum means - at least from my understanding - that as the professional staff you develop a detailed plan of what initiatives you want to have going on in your community. You can go as far as making lesson plans for events or corridor meetings. The RAs, then, are the faciliators of those initiatives.
The way I've set up my curriculum, there's a theme each month. And each month, RAs are expected to have conversations with their residents about this theme, do a bulletin board that relates to the theme, and organize a corridor event related to that theme. And I give them resource guides for each of these initiatives, some more detailed than others. For example, for the first couple of corridor meetings, we had very detailed lesson plans with learning outcomes, activities, topics to cover and and and. But then, for the first corridor event, we simply asked them to do some type of team building activity. These ranged from playing team builders in the lounge to a scavenger hunt in teams to writing a song together. That way, while I know that residents are getting certain things out of the programs, RAs can still take ownership of their programs and use their creativity.
So far, this Residential Curriculum thing has been going really well. The RAs seem to like it. I think, at least, that my residents are getting a lot out of it.
But there's some challenges:
1) It takes quite some time to come up with all these resource guides, calendars for the RAs and and and.
2) One of the focuses of our curriculum is for the RAs to have individual conversations with residents about the monthly themes. While some of them are doing really well with these conversations, others just don't have as serious or meaningful conversations as I'd like them to have.
3) Similarly, it's hard to know how well the RAs faciliate the meetings based on my lesson plans. We talk in 1:1's afterwards to reflect on the meetings and events, but that still doesn't always give me a good understanding of what they did. And with ten RAs, I just don't have the time to go and observe everyone's meetings and events...I may have to start doing that soon though.
4) Since our department doesn't have the same model, RAs weren't trained in the general RA Training to be facilitators and to have those conversations...so a lot of that stuff had to happen during In-Hall Training and there just wasn't enough time for everything. Even now, during staff meetings, it's hard to get everything done.
Well, we'll just have to wait and see how things go....
Quote of the Day: "The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way." - Henry Miller
It's Sunday and I've just spent the past few hours preparing for my staff meeting. Yup, working on a Sunday...but I know this week will be crazy (actually the next few weeks), so I'd rather have everything ready to go.
I work with the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community this year. And I've decided to try this new Residential Curriculum approach. So I spent all summer developing the outline of our curriculum. What I didn't get around to was making all the handouts and resource guides for my staff.
But let me start from the beginning...
This whole idea of having a Residential Curriculum means - at least from my understanding - that as the professional staff you develop a detailed plan of what initiatives you want to have going on in your community. You can go as far as making lesson plans for events or corridor meetings. The RAs, then, are the faciliators of those initiatives.
The way I've set up my curriculum, there's a theme each month. And each month, RAs are expected to have conversations with their residents about this theme, do a bulletin board that relates to the theme, and organize a corridor event related to that theme. And I give them resource guides for each of these initiatives, some more detailed than others. For example, for the first couple of corridor meetings, we had very detailed lesson plans with learning outcomes, activities, topics to cover and and and. But then, for the first corridor event, we simply asked them to do some type of team building activity. These ranged from playing team builders in the lounge to a scavenger hunt in teams to writing a song together. That way, while I know that residents are getting certain things out of the programs, RAs can still take ownership of their programs and use their creativity.
So far, this Residential Curriculum thing has been going really well. The RAs seem to like it. I think, at least, that my residents are getting a lot out of it.
But there's some challenges:
1) It takes quite some time to come up with all these resource guides, calendars for the RAs and and and.
2) One of the focuses of our curriculum is for the RAs to have individual conversations with residents about the monthly themes. While some of them are doing really well with these conversations, others just don't have as serious or meaningful conversations as I'd like them to have.
3) Similarly, it's hard to know how well the RAs faciliate the meetings based on my lesson plans. We talk in 1:1's afterwards to reflect on the meetings and events, but that still doesn't always give me a good understanding of what they did. And with ten RAs, I just don't have the time to go and observe everyone's meetings and events...I may have to start doing that soon though.
4) Since our department doesn't have the same model, RAs weren't trained in the general RA Training to be facilitators and to have those conversations...so a lot of that stuff had to happen during In-Hall Training and there just wasn't enough time for everything. Even now, during staff meetings, it's hard to get everything done.
Well, we'll just have to wait and see how things go....
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Changes
Last TV show I watched: "How I Met Your Mother" (I talked to my friends from Austria today and they said this is the latest show they're obsessed with, so I had to check it out.)
Book I'm currently reading: Emma (Jane Austein)
It's a new academic year and a lot has changed. We've had a lot of turnover in our ResLife department; about half the staff is new. Only one of my RAs from last year returned to the position and she stayed in the same building, while I moved, so we are not working together anymore. Yes, I have moved...I'm responsible for a different living learning community this year: the CHANGE Living Learning Community. [For those of you, who are new to my blog: I work as a Hall Director/Academic Adviser in a first-year residence hall.] I have two graduate assistants this year, one who lives in the building with me and co-supervises the staff with me and one, whose main responsiblity is the academic advising of some of my residents. I have 10 Resident Assistants, one returner and nine new staff members.
But having a lot of new staff isn't the only change...I've developed a Residential Curriculum for my living learning community, which my staff is now implementing. I'm teaching a course for my living learning community. I'm chairing a committee, the professional staff training committee. I'm co-advising the National Residence Hall Honorary.
Those of you, who have been following my blog know that I co-advised the Residence Hall Association and it was my favorite thing about my job. I asked to get to advise the organization again, thinking not just of my own happiness (even though I'll admit that it was a huge factor) but also the importance of an advisor providing continuity to an organization...but for whatever reason, instead of me, three new advisors were chosen. It broke my heart. It may seem silly, but yes, I cried. I've been bitter and frustrated since, whenever the organization is mentioned. And I'm having a really hard time finding anything positive to say about those staff members, who had a say in this decision.
I feel like I was given the National Residence Hall Honorary in a large part to make me shut up - so I would still have that "advising experience" that I asked for. And I'm going to enjoy working with those students...but let's be honest: there is no need to have three advisors for an chapter of about 10 students. And I'm really not excited about working with my two co-advisors. *Sigh* I'll get over it eventually.
So with my responsibilities for the Residence Hall Association (RHA) gone, I have thrown myself head over heels into my living learning community. I live and breath "CHANGE." Over the past few weeks, I've spent every free minute hanging out with my RAs or walking around my building. I've developed closer relationships with most of my RAs than I ever had with my staff last year; and I already now a decent number of residents. But this weekend, for the first time, I realized that I'm starting to get drained. While RHA was still work, it got me out of the building. Now, I have no reason to ever leave here.
I also have a new supervisor this year. My old supervisor left (after just one year at our institution...hmm, what does that tell you?) and I miss her. I felt like I could talk to her. We didn't always agree, but she wasn't trying to run my life. This year, I'm dreading 1-on-1's because I feel like I constantly have to defend myself, my lifestyle, my attitude toward work. I'm asked for feedback, but when I give it, I'm attacked for what I said. I'm asked to share, but I feel like any information I spill will be used against me later on.
Don't get me wrong...a lot of things have improved from last year. I have the living learning community I wanted; I feel a lot more comfortable with my job responsibilites; I have two amazing graduate assistants and 10 fabulous RAs. But I feel lonely and misunderstood...I'm living in my bubble and I dread those times when I have to leave my building and talk to central staff.
So, let the drama continue. It's going to be an interesting year.
Book I'm currently reading: Emma (Jane Austein)
It's a new academic year and a lot has changed. We've had a lot of turnover in our ResLife department; about half the staff is new. Only one of my RAs from last year returned to the position and she stayed in the same building, while I moved, so we are not working together anymore. Yes, I have moved...I'm responsible for a different living learning community this year: the CHANGE Living Learning Community. [For those of you, who are new to my blog: I work as a Hall Director/Academic Adviser in a first-year residence hall.] I have two graduate assistants this year, one who lives in the building with me and co-supervises the staff with me and one, whose main responsiblity is the academic advising of some of my residents. I have 10 Resident Assistants, one returner and nine new staff members.
But having a lot of new staff isn't the only change...I've developed a Residential Curriculum for my living learning community, which my staff is now implementing. I'm teaching a course for my living learning community. I'm chairing a committee, the professional staff training committee. I'm co-advising the National Residence Hall Honorary.
Those of you, who have been following my blog know that I co-advised the Residence Hall Association and it was my favorite thing about my job. I asked to get to advise the organization again, thinking not just of my own happiness (even though I'll admit that it was a huge factor) but also the importance of an advisor providing continuity to an organization...but for whatever reason, instead of me, three new advisors were chosen. It broke my heart. It may seem silly, but yes, I cried. I've been bitter and frustrated since, whenever the organization is mentioned. And I'm having a really hard time finding anything positive to say about those staff members, who had a say in this decision.
I feel like I was given the National Residence Hall Honorary in a large part to make me shut up - so I would still have that "advising experience" that I asked for. And I'm going to enjoy working with those students...but let's be honest: there is no need to have three advisors for an chapter of about 10 students. And I'm really not excited about working with my two co-advisors. *Sigh* I'll get over it eventually.
So with my responsibilities for the Residence Hall Association (RHA) gone, I have thrown myself head over heels into my living learning community. I live and breath "CHANGE." Over the past few weeks, I've spent every free minute hanging out with my RAs or walking around my building. I've developed closer relationships with most of my RAs than I ever had with my staff last year; and I already now a decent number of residents. But this weekend, for the first time, I realized that I'm starting to get drained. While RHA was still work, it got me out of the building. Now, I have no reason to ever leave here.
I also have a new supervisor this year. My old supervisor left (after just one year at our institution...hmm, what does that tell you?) and I miss her. I felt like I could talk to her. We didn't always agree, but she wasn't trying to run my life. This year, I'm dreading 1-on-1's because I feel like I constantly have to defend myself, my lifestyle, my attitude toward work. I'm asked for feedback, but when I give it, I'm attacked for what I said. I'm asked to share, but I feel like any information I spill will be used against me later on.
Don't get me wrong...a lot of things have improved from last year. I have the living learning community I wanted; I feel a lot more comfortable with my job responsibilites; I have two amazing graduate assistants and 10 fabulous RAs. But I feel lonely and misunderstood...I'm living in my bubble and I dread those times when I have to leave my building and talk to central staff.
So, let the drama continue. It's going to be an interesting year.
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