Being a returner

Mood: blah

About a week ago, we had to submit our letters of intent. Tomorrow, we should be finding out where we're placed for next year. It's a big deal here because of our living learning communities. One community is just so different from another; your placement can make or break your experience.

I'm pretty confident that I will get to stay in my current living learning community. I haven't heard about anyone else being interested in it. I think I've done a decent job this year. And I just really don't think I could work anywhere else.

But enough about that: I've been thinking about what it's been like to be a "returner" this year (after all, I need to plan the returner meeting for April, where we'll talk about what it means to be a returner).
It's been nice to know the job. I wasn't nervous or anxious about new tasks (even though I would have never admitted that I was nervous last year). I was able to make some changes in my community. I could try out some new things with my staff.
In terms of my relationships with new staff? Well, during training and at the beginning of the semester, I always felt like I should be doing more, reaching out to them more, giving more advice. But when I tried, I often felt like they didn't necessarily want that advice, so I cut back and only answered when asked or when there was a bigger issue. I tried to be positive around them as not to taint their opinion of our institution and department from the very begining. But I also didn't want to lie. And when we were asked for feedback in team meetings, I was honest and mentioned the things that were frustrating me. That was tough at times because I felt like I was the only one on our team, who'd ever bring up a problem...well, it was me and my grad (also a returner). There was one more returner on the team, but he hardly ever says anything. I'm still struggling with this - knowing when to give feedback or how often. Sometimes it feels like it's a waste of time because nothing will change anything - then sometimes things change but I'm not sure if others like the change or if they dislike me for it (for example when I suggested that we actually do something during team meeting - professional development stuf for example - instead of just having check-ins and getting some basic info from our coordinator).
It'd be really interesting to hear what the other staff members think about me. Was I a "good" returner? Had I been helpful? Were there other things that I could have done?
I have no idea.

Well it's 1:30 a.m....so I should probably try and get some sleep.
Wish me luck for tomorrow (if the letters even come out on time...which, knowing our department, i doubt).

The Trip - Part 2

Hello,

How's it going?

So the rest of the trip is kind of a blurr. Skiing with my family, parties with my friends, visiting grandparents, seeing "Rebecca" (this new musical with Uwe Kroeger and Wietske Van Tongeren) in Vienna, more hanging out with friends, etc. Family life isn't always easy - like so many families, we have our issues and problems - but they're family, you know.
And it was just really nice not being at work or anywhere near work.

It already seems like ages ago.

But here's a few things I learned during this vacation:

1) If we think it's hard to explain to Americans what we, as Student Affairs professionals do, it's nothing compared to explaining it to Austrians. And I think partially it's due to the wealth of different tasks that are part of our job. You may be able to explain one, but it'd take you forever to explain everything...and nobody wants to listen for that long.

2) Things change but they're not different.
Okay, that probably makes no sense. But here's what I mean: If you've gone from a place for four years, you think that everything will be different. But when you get there, some things may have changed - there's new buildings, people have moved - but in the end, it still feels the same.

3) True friends will always be true friends.
There's people we meet and we think they'll be your friends for life. A few years later, they're gone, no matter how hard you tried to stay in touch. Then there's those people, where - yes, you still have to put some work into staying in touch - but you're not the only one "working." And then you can put oceans between each other, but you'll always be there for each other - and when you get back together, things may have changed, but they're not different. :)

The Trip - Part 1

Hello everyone,

I apologize for not having blogged in so long. I actually went back home to Austria to visit my family - for the first time in FOUR years. And then, less than a week ago (even though it feels like an eternity already) I returned to the US and have been swamped with work.

But let's start from the beginning.
When I went to Austria, I had to apply for a new visa since my old one had expired. In case you are not as familiar with immigration laws (which I definitely wouldn't be if I wasn't in this situation myself): You just need to have a valid work permit (in my case my H1B) to live and work in the US. However, to enter the country, you need a visa. If it expires while you're in the country, it doesn't matter...as long as that work permit is still valid. But if you leave the country and want to re-enter it, you need a new visa. Does that make sense?
To make a long story short, my visa had expired. I needed to get a new one (which you can only do in your country of citizenship).

I was definitely a little nervous about the whole process - even though I tried to deny those feelings in a hope of not making it worse. Not that there is really a reason why my visa application could have been denied, but you never know. And if I hadn't gotten the visa, I would suddenly have been unemployed, homeless and back in a country where Student Affairs doesn't even exist.

I flew to Munich, Germany, one of the closest airports to my hometown Bregenz in Austria. But instead of going home, I took the train to Vienna. The next morning was my appointment at the Consulate.

I tried to patiently wait in line. Ahead of me was a woman, who worked at some company in Boston, a man who was teaching at MIT, an older couple, and a young student. One after the other, we were called up to hand in our documents. Then, we were called - again one by one - for a brief interview. All the others ahead of me were just asked a few questions and were then told that their visa was approved and would be sent to them within the next few days.
I was starting to feel a bit more confident.
But then, when it was finally my turn, I was called over to a little more private interview area. Already not a good sign, I thought. Now I was just trying not to let myself freak out. The employee from the Consulate asked me how long I had been in the U.S. Then, he asked if I had applied for immigration status - or if anyone else had applied for me. I felt like he didn't believe me when I said that I had not applied (because I don't qualify for it...but I didn't tell him that). He asked a couple more questions about what I do; then he asked for my fingerprints. At this point, I was so nervous that when he said he needed my right hand, I put the left hand on the machine. Finally - after what seemed like an eternity - he said, "Well, we will have to check your records and look further into that. If we have any further questions, we will contact you and asked you to come in again."

My heart must have stopped for a second. I don't know how I managed to smile, say thank you, and walk out the door. I spent the next few hours trying to calm myself down and telling myself that everything would be okay. Hey, at least I had a lot of time to calm myself down since I was - once again - sitting in train and would be for 9 hours to get home.

Surprisingly enough, just a few days later, my passport with my new visa arrived in the mail. I didn't even know what to say when I got it.