Mood: annoyed
Campus Events I attended this weekend: RHA Formal, Coffee Shop (Talent Show), Acapella Concert, NRHH Inductions
I was sitting in my office on Friday, when my Housing Manager stopped by. The Housekeeping staff had found a digital camera. Nice as they are, they decided to look at the pictures to try and figure out whose camera it was. And as they did, they noticed that the majority of the pictures depicted residents drinking in this building (a first-year hall and also a dry building).
I called our judicial office and asked them what to do. They suggested that I hold on to the camera for right now, meet with the students and then decide whether or not I wanted to file a complaint. I'm going to be honest; I didn't really love that answer. I wish they had just told me to document the situation. I mean, maybe I'm looking at it too much in black and white, but if I am aware of a policy violation, I feel that it is my responsibility to report it. I'd still have that conversation with the students, hoping they'll learn something from it, but I also think they'll learn a lot from having to deal with the consequences given to them by judicial.
I was walking back to my apartment and was in a rush - I think it was Saturday or maybe later on Friday (wow, it's scary that its only Sunday and I can't remember if this happened yesterday or the day before) - and one of the students stopped me. He asked if I had his camera. I told him it depended on what his camera looked like. After he identified his camera, I explained that the Housekeeping staff had found it and had looked at the picture in an attempt to identify whose camera it was and found pictures that showed illegal activity on the camera. I asked him what he thought about this. He denied having broken any policies, didn't seem to understand why I thought there was a problem with him drinking underage in a dry building, and just wanted his camera back. I explained that he could have the camera back as soon as the judicial case had been closed, but that I needed to hold on to it while I was writing the report and then I needed to check with our judicial office to see whether or not they needed it as evidence or if they could release it to him. But I emphasized that he'd get his camera back as soon as we could give it back to him.
Well, after that brief and pointless conversation, I decided that I definitely wanted to document the situation. In addition, the roommate of this student had stopped by my office earlier to tell me that he wanted a room change because his roommate was engaging in illegal activities. The roommate also hinted that drugs were involved and that he was afraid that just from being in the room and inhaling second-hand smoke he may not pass a drug test right now. Of course, the roommate didn't feel comfortable pressing charges or even calling a staff member next time this happened. He just wanted to move.
Earlier that week, one of my RAs had also told me that he was concerned about a couple of rooms on his corridor (this one included) because shady activities had been going on, but he had been unable to catch those students.
I'm not all about "getting students in trouble," but I am about abiding by the law and if I know that illegal activities are going on and I finally find a way to prove it, I will do something about it.
I e-mailed all the students in the pictures and told them that I wanted to meet with them on Monday. Then, I didn't think more about the incident - after all we had another documentation last night and all these events going on. But today, I get a phone call from our police department. Apparently the student had called and said that I had taken his camera and was refusing to give it back. I explained the situation to the police. They kept questioning why I was "witholding personal property" until I explained that the judicial office had asked me to hold on to it for right now. Then, they accepted that I could hold on to the camera for right now, but still questioned if I was doing the right thing by documenting someone based on something that I had seen in pictures.
I know that's a tough question. Institutions are struggling with what to do with Facebook and all these other online sites. I've spent some time thinking about all this myself. And here's what I think: I don't think we should go looking for it, but if we find something, we have a responsibility to do something about it. If I walk past a room and I hear noise and the clinking of bottles, I don't ignore it either, do I?
I really think institutions need to come up with some guidelines and policies, so that staff have something to base those "judgment calls" off.
But back to my story: I went to our NRHH Induction. And then, just after I had returned, I got another phone call, again from our police department, again asking me why I hadn't given the student his camera back. And once again I explained the situation, and once again my decisions were questioned over and over again.
And this isn't the first time I'm having issues with our police department. Early in the semester, we asked them to come to an alcohol awareness event and instead of explaining the consequences of bad choices, as we asked them to do, the officers kept going on about how they used to get trashed and one even told the students how she passed out in a ditch once. And then they talked about how, if students are really drunk, they'll just take them home and there won't be any consequences (our ResLife department does not have such a rule, so whenever that happens, the police will drop off these highly intoxicated students and we will then end up documenting them for intoxication and look like the bad guys).
Just a few weeks later, one of my residents was caught smoking pot - he had paraphenalia and a significant amount of pot on him, and the police just gave him a warning. I had my staff document the situation, so at least he had to go through our judicial system, but once again we looked like the bad guys.
Then, I find out the same student as well as several others were caught by a police officer smoking pot outside and the officer just gave them a warning. Since we didn't find out about it until much later, there was nothing I could do. I wonder how many warnings they give...will they realize after 100 warnings that the student doesn't get the message or will 99 do it?
Oh and let's not forget about the police officer keying into my apartment the friday morning of Thanksgiving Break at 4 AM because my window was open and they wanted to secure it and didn't realize I was there (even though they know that advisory staff stay around over break).
Oh and did I mention that all day today, they would call my office phone - which I don't pick up on weekends - then my home phone and then my personal cell phone. My personal cell phone is FOR EMERGENCY USE only!!! An emergency is a student death, something HUGE...not some student complaining because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions. It's the weekend!!! I already had a million events to go to...at least allow me during those few hours I have without work!
So much for the police being your friend and helper....
Well, I guess I should go to bed. Especially now that I get to wake up extra early to turn in this incident report and the camera to our judicial office before my first meeting. Oh joy!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Let me do my job...
Mood: content
Book I'm currently reading: First Daughter
It's Thankgiving (at least for another half hour). Unlike most of my American readers, I did not spend the day with family, eating too much food and celebrating. Instead, I woke up relatively early but decided to stay in bed and read (Girl at Sea). I took a break from reading to watch some Saved by the Bell, then took a nap, then read some more. In between I had a late breakfast (actually it was more like a late lunch...but I had waffles, so that counts as breakfast, righ?), then read some more. I watched Ugly Betty and Grey's, while eating dinner (vegetable lasagna and ice cream cake). I talked to one person all day - one of my RAs who called to check up on me...how cute! ;)
Now I'm back to reading. I've finished Girl at Sea and moved on to First Daughter, both from the "Young Adult" section in the local library. I rarely read adult novels - maybe the occassional classic here and there - but usually I like to stick to teen or young adult books. They're just more entertaining.
I'm definitely enjoying the few days away from work. Even though I didn't leave over break, it's nice not having to get up at a set hour, spending hours in the office, walking around the building, talking to students, etc. Originally, I was supposed to cover Thanksgiving Break duty since the breakhousing we offer to students is in my building (two rooms with tons of bunkbeds and absolutely no privacy), but I managed to get someone else to cover for me. It just wasn't worth it for me - yeah, so maybe I would have gotten an extra $200 for covering those four days, but I don't need money - what I need is a break.
Work has been "interesting" lately, to say the least. I had a very strange conversation with my two supervisors at our last 2-on-1, a conversation that left me not wanting to work here for another day. It had started with a conversation prior to that meeting, during which one of them had asked me if I was planning on coming back for another year and I explained that I was, mostly because of immigration laws and all this visa application hassle. I mean, my current H1B visa allows me to work here, at this institution in this specific job. I just got this H1B a few months ago. If I were to look for another job, I'd have to go through the whole visa application process again - with very little chance of actually getting a new work permit in time to start a new job for the new school year (since it takes several months and most ResLife departments don't make hiring decisions until April or May and training usually starts in July or August...it could work but would be tight) and espeically with not being able to leave the country while my application was pending, which would mean goodbye to my summer plans (I want to go home and spend some time with family and friends, since I haven't been able to do that in years). I'm just not willing to give up those summer plans right now. And besides, while I don't love the department I'm working for, I really enjoy the time I get to spend with my RAs and my students and I truly believe in my living learning community theme and feel like there is still a lot left for me to accomplish. So granted, I always feel like a black cloud descends upon me when I enter the central office, but hey, at least I only have to go to the office three or four times a week.
But back to the conversation with my supervisors: Basically they encouraged me to think about whether or not I was happy here and if I wasn't, I should look for other jobs. I tried to explain the whole visa situation and they said that this shouldnt' stop by and it could easily be worked out. It just showed such ignorance about the whole situation. I'm sorry; maybe they thought they were being supportive; but it didn't come off that way. It sounded like they were trying to get rid of me, to push me out. And it was obvious that they had no clue about the realities of my immigration status.
And then they said the most hurtful thing of all...they suggested that I better leave here if I'm not happy anymore, instead of staying too long and then not being able to get any positive references. What was that suppoed to mean? Did that mean that they wouldn't give me a good reference if I asked them?
I have worked my a** off these past year and a half. I have developed a whole new curriculum for my building that's taken my living learning community to a whole new level. There is actually learning occuring in my building! My staff has done a fabulous job, my students overall are enjoying their experience here. We've addressed issues in the building in an appropriate and timely manner. I've put a lot of time and effort into the committee I'm chairing. I go to all NRHH meetings and events unlike one of my co-advisors, who happens to be "sick" every other week. I'm not perfect, but I try... and I think I can say, without sounding conceited, that I have done a pretty good job so far.
Here's what bothers me: It feels like my personal life is being evaluated. At the beginning of the year, I kept hearing, "You are so reserved; you don't share things;" then I tried to share a few things and now they are being held against me. I was better off when I lied and said I was perfectly fine.
For example, the whole conversation about "balance:" If I don't have balance in my life because I have decided to give my all to my job for the next couple of years, then that is my choice. As long as my lack of balance doesn't affect my ability to do my job well - and it doesn't, on the contrary, it has allowed me to be a lot more successful because I am more visible in the building and spend more time planning and organizing things for my community - then this is none of my supervisors' business.
Don't go assuming that you know anything about me! You don't know what goes on in my head. Even for a workaholic like me, it's not always about work - sometimes I may look down or be distracted because of personal stuff, things that I do not have to and do not feel comfortable sharing with you. I don't need fake sweetness and care when I know that everything I say will just be used against me later. So just leave me alone and let me do my job!
Book I'm currently reading: First Daughter
It's Thankgiving (at least for another half hour). Unlike most of my American readers, I did not spend the day with family, eating too much food and celebrating. Instead, I woke up relatively early but decided to stay in bed and read (Girl at Sea). I took a break from reading to watch some Saved by the Bell, then took a nap, then read some more. In between I had a late breakfast (actually it was more like a late lunch...but I had waffles, so that counts as breakfast, righ?), then read some more. I watched Ugly Betty and Grey's, while eating dinner (vegetable lasagna and ice cream cake). I talked to one person all day - one of my RAs who called to check up on me...how cute! ;)
Now I'm back to reading. I've finished Girl at Sea and moved on to First Daughter, both from the "Young Adult" section in the local library. I rarely read adult novels - maybe the occassional classic here and there - but usually I like to stick to teen or young adult books. They're just more entertaining.
I'm definitely enjoying the few days away from work. Even though I didn't leave over break, it's nice not having to get up at a set hour, spending hours in the office, walking around the building, talking to students, etc. Originally, I was supposed to cover Thanksgiving Break duty since the breakhousing we offer to students is in my building (two rooms with tons of bunkbeds and absolutely no privacy), but I managed to get someone else to cover for me. It just wasn't worth it for me - yeah, so maybe I would have gotten an extra $200 for covering those four days, but I don't need money - what I need is a break.
Work has been "interesting" lately, to say the least. I had a very strange conversation with my two supervisors at our last 2-on-1, a conversation that left me not wanting to work here for another day. It had started with a conversation prior to that meeting, during which one of them had asked me if I was planning on coming back for another year and I explained that I was, mostly because of immigration laws and all this visa application hassle. I mean, my current H1B visa allows me to work here, at this institution in this specific job. I just got this H1B a few months ago. If I were to look for another job, I'd have to go through the whole visa application process again - with very little chance of actually getting a new work permit in time to start a new job for the new school year (since it takes several months and most ResLife departments don't make hiring decisions until April or May and training usually starts in July or August...it could work but would be tight) and espeically with not being able to leave the country while my application was pending, which would mean goodbye to my summer plans (I want to go home and spend some time with family and friends, since I haven't been able to do that in years). I'm just not willing to give up those summer plans right now. And besides, while I don't love the department I'm working for, I really enjoy the time I get to spend with my RAs and my students and I truly believe in my living learning community theme and feel like there is still a lot left for me to accomplish. So granted, I always feel like a black cloud descends upon me when I enter the central office, but hey, at least I only have to go to the office three or four times a week.
But back to the conversation with my supervisors: Basically they encouraged me to think about whether or not I was happy here and if I wasn't, I should look for other jobs. I tried to explain the whole visa situation and they said that this shouldnt' stop by and it could easily be worked out. It just showed such ignorance about the whole situation. I'm sorry; maybe they thought they were being supportive; but it didn't come off that way. It sounded like they were trying to get rid of me, to push me out. And it was obvious that they had no clue about the realities of my immigration status.
And then they said the most hurtful thing of all...they suggested that I better leave here if I'm not happy anymore, instead of staying too long and then not being able to get any positive references. What was that suppoed to mean? Did that mean that they wouldn't give me a good reference if I asked them?
I have worked my a** off these past year and a half. I have developed a whole new curriculum for my building that's taken my living learning community to a whole new level. There is actually learning occuring in my building! My staff has done a fabulous job, my students overall are enjoying their experience here. We've addressed issues in the building in an appropriate and timely manner. I've put a lot of time and effort into the committee I'm chairing. I go to all NRHH meetings and events unlike one of my co-advisors, who happens to be "sick" every other week. I'm not perfect, but I try... and I think I can say, without sounding conceited, that I have done a pretty good job so far.
Here's what bothers me: It feels like my personal life is being evaluated. At the beginning of the year, I kept hearing, "You are so reserved; you don't share things;" then I tried to share a few things and now they are being held against me. I was better off when I lied and said I was perfectly fine.
For example, the whole conversation about "balance:" If I don't have balance in my life because I have decided to give my all to my job for the next couple of years, then that is my choice. As long as my lack of balance doesn't affect my ability to do my job well - and it doesn't, on the contrary, it has allowed me to be a lot more successful because I am more visible in the building and spend more time planning and organizing things for my community - then this is none of my supervisors' business.
Don't go assuming that you know anything about me! You don't know what goes on in my head. Even for a workaholic like me, it's not always about work - sometimes I may look down or be distracted because of personal stuff, things that I do not have to and do not feel comfortable sharing with you. I don't need fake sweetness and care when I know that everything I say will just be used against me later. So just leave me alone and let me do my job!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Too much to do, too little time
Mood: drained, exhausted
Currently watching: Grey's Anatomy
Sorry for being MIA for so long. It's been crazy to say the least. Even now, I have an endless to-do list. But Grey's is the one show I allow myself to watch and I feel like I have a fever (I'd rather not check because it's not like I can miss work tomorrow anyway), so I figured I deserve a little break.
I've been struggling with fitting in everything: academic advising (this week was registration for first-year students, so I've been bombarded with last minute questions), the usual ResLife stuff (Staff Meetings, 1:1's), a huge load of judicials (at least compared to other colleagues), NRHH, chairing the Adviser Training Committee, teaching a Leadership course and trying to give this whole Living Learning Community thing some structure for next semester. I usually start work at 9 AM. I'm in the office or in meetings all day. In the evenings, I either have staff meeting or corridor meetings (we've had to address some alcohol and safety concerns) or programs (we've also had lots of those). I usually get stuck talking to some residents (answering more advising questions or just helping with other random things) and then it's about 9 or 10 by the time I get back to my apartment. I'm usually pretty tired and drained by that time, but work isn't over yet. I hardly ever get any time to work on projects and other tasks during the day, so that's what I do at night. Personal time hasn't existed for the past month. Sleeping mostly happens on the weekends.
I'm not trying to complain. I know I do some of it to myself by being an overachiever and not being able to deal with things not being perfect. But part of it is just this job.
I feel like, as long as everything goes as planned, I'm able to handle it. But when something goes wrong, everything falls apart.
But complaining and whining won't help, so let's talk about something else.
Hmmm, how about my LLC: The first semester in CHANGE and of my Residential Curriculum has gone over pretty well. My staff likes the structure and direction the curriculum provides. I like knowing that there are some educational components that we're getting across to residents. Yes, there are definitely some things I need to revise. For example, we had students from our Leadership class do corridor workshops - having all of those over a very brief period of time was a bad idea. There was just an overload of programming going on in the building. Also, having all the corridor do their community service project the same month provided some challenges.
Once all this craziness slows down - who knows when that'll be but it has to happen some time - I will revise the curriculum from this semester for next year. But first, I need to come up with a curriculum for second semester.
We're planning a Spring Break Service Trip. It's all getting a little stressful because I should have booked it a long time ago - but Habitat for Humanities makes you pay for the trip if you have to cancel it or don't have enough participants - so I don't want to do so unless I really know who is all going. I'm also trying to get funding from various sources, which has worked out pretty well so far, but it's just been a lot of work. Hopefully in a week or so I'll have this whole trip figured out.
Okay, now I really need to get some rest. I'll write more soon. :)
Currently watching: Grey's Anatomy
Sorry for being MIA for so long. It's been crazy to say the least. Even now, I have an endless to-do list. But Grey's is the one show I allow myself to watch and I feel like I have a fever (I'd rather not check because it's not like I can miss work tomorrow anyway), so I figured I deserve a little break.
I've been struggling with fitting in everything: academic advising (this week was registration for first-year students, so I've been bombarded with last minute questions), the usual ResLife stuff (Staff Meetings, 1:1's), a huge load of judicials (at least compared to other colleagues), NRHH, chairing the Adviser Training Committee, teaching a Leadership course and trying to give this whole Living Learning Community thing some structure for next semester. I usually start work at 9 AM. I'm in the office or in meetings all day. In the evenings, I either have staff meeting or corridor meetings (we've had to address some alcohol and safety concerns) or programs (we've also had lots of those). I usually get stuck talking to some residents (answering more advising questions or just helping with other random things) and then it's about 9 or 10 by the time I get back to my apartment. I'm usually pretty tired and drained by that time, but work isn't over yet. I hardly ever get any time to work on projects and other tasks during the day, so that's what I do at night. Personal time hasn't existed for the past month. Sleeping mostly happens on the weekends.
I'm not trying to complain. I know I do some of it to myself by being an overachiever and not being able to deal with things not being perfect. But part of it is just this job.
I feel like, as long as everything goes as planned, I'm able to handle it. But when something goes wrong, everything falls apart.
But complaining and whining won't help, so let's talk about something else.
Hmmm, how about my LLC: The first semester in CHANGE and of my Residential Curriculum has gone over pretty well. My staff likes the structure and direction the curriculum provides. I like knowing that there are some educational components that we're getting across to residents. Yes, there are definitely some things I need to revise. For example, we had students from our Leadership class do corridor workshops - having all of those over a very brief period of time was a bad idea. There was just an overload of programming going on in the building. Also, having all the corridor do their community service project the same month provided some challenges.
Once all this craziness slows down - who knows when that'll be but it has to happen some time - I will revise the curriculum from this semester for next year. But first, I need to come up with a curriculum for second semester.
We're planning a Spring Break Service Trip. It's all getting a little stressful because I should have booked it a long time ago - but Habitat for Humanities makes you pay for the trip if you have to cancel it or don't have enough participants - so I don't want to do so unless I really know who is all going. I'm also trying to get funding from various sources, which has worked out pretty well so far, but it's just been a lot of work. Hopefully in a week or so I'll have this whole trip figured out.
Okay, now I really need to get some rest. I'll write more soon. :)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Dumbledore rocks my world
So, this entry won't have much to do with Student Affairs and my job - except that anything can be related to Student Affairs because we love to talk about diversity, right?
Okay, so I was doing a round in the building and I ran into one of my RAs who told me that she just heard that Dumbledore (from Harry Potter) was gay. She had to tell me because she knew I'd be very excited. And oh, I was! I had to immediately check Mugglenet.com to see if it was true. And then, I made the big mistake of reading some of the reader's comments. Granted, many were positive - some were at least trying to be positive - and others were just disgusting. Someone said that they didn't like the serious anymore and would never be able to look at Harry Potter the same way.
The one comment that really got me thinking was one by a mother saying that as a mother, she would have expected JKR to dodge the question because she didn't want her children to hear that. Because sexual orientation brings up sex and kids shouldn't know about that. Now, I'm not about to explain the details of sex to five-year olds. But kids also see that there's a mommy and daddy...so why not tell them that some families have two daddies or two mommies. You don't need to talk about sex to explain that. You can just explain to your kids that Dumbledore, if he got married, would marry a guy. No big deal.
I think that would give you a great opportunity to talk to your children about how there are different kinds of couples and families.
Was it necessary to release Dumbledore's sexual orientation? Hmmm, maybe not. But why did we all assume that he was straight? JKR never said that either. Would it be such a big deal if she told us that Dumbledore liked vanilla ice cream? That's just as irrelevant to the story as that he was gay, but as fans we would have all been excited about learning more details about our favorite characters. And that's all JKR did...give us another detail about a character.
I know I will definitely have my children read Harry Potter - and they will know for sure that Dumbeldore is gay and what it means to be gay.
Okay, so I was doing a round in the building and I ran into one of my RAs who told me that she just heard that Dumbledore (from Harry Potter) was gay. She had to tell me because she knew I'd be very excited. And oh, I was! I had to immediately check Mugglenet.com to see if it was true. And then, I made the big mistake of reading some of the reader's comments. Granted, many were positive - some were at least trying to be positive - and others were just disgusting. Someone said that they didn't like the serious anymore and would never be able to look at Harry Potter the same way.
The one comment that really got me thinking was one by a mother saying that as a mother, she would have expected JKR to dodge the question because she didn't want her children to hear that. Because sexual orientation brings up sex and kids shouldn't know about that. Now, I'm not about to explain the details of sex to five-year olds. But kids also see that there's a mommy and daddy...so why not tell them that some families have two daddies or two mommies. You don't need to talk about sex to explain that. You can just explain to your kids that Dumbledore, if he got married, would marry a guy. No big deal.
I think that would give you a great opportunity to talk to your children about how there are different kinds of couples and families.
Was it necessary to release Dumbledore's sexual orientation? Hmmm, maybe not. But why did we all assume that he was straight? JKR never said that either. Would it be such a big deal if she told us that Dumbledore liked vanilla ice cream? That's just as irrelevant to the story as that he was gay, but as fans we would have all been excited about learning more details about our favorite characters. And that's all JKR did...give us another detail about a character.
I know I will definitely have my children read Harry Potter - and they will know for sure that Dumbeldore is gay and what it means to be gay.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Perfect Staff
Mood: exhausted but content
Last movie I watched: The Perfect Man (Do you think there is a perfect man out there for me? My romantic me says yes; the realistic me questions it.)
This week could have been pretty bad. Let's be honest; it was pretty bad. I didn't get everything done that I needed to do last weekend - so I was up late Sunday night trying to get ready for the week - which of course meant that I started Monday exhausted, tired and stressed. That night, my staff and I talked about staff development - we had set aside Saturday, the 13th for staff development - and it turned out that several of them had made different plans and in the end we decided to just have breakfast together at 9 AM on a Saturday. I was NOT excited! How could they make plans when we had said at the beginning of the semester that we'd set that date aside for staff development?
The week continued; it was stressful. I didn't get all my advising notes done. I stayed up late almost every night working on different things. There was just not enough time! My apartment became more and more of a mess (it still is now) and it's made me feel more and more unsettled and annoyed and frustrated.
Then, Thursday night, my Community Council was decorating for the Homecoming Decorating Contest. They had made this beautiful banner with our mascot on it. Serioulsy, I'd never seen such a beautiful banner. It was AMAZING! They put it up around 9 PM. Later that night, I was in my apartment when my grad called me - "the banner was gone." The string had been cut and there was no trace of the banner. We were so upset. I felt awful for my Community Council. I also felt like it was an attack against us - our hall had just won this competition between all the residence halls and I've heard lots of "talk" about my building and the craziness of our staff and residents...what people don't get is that it's a very positive craziness...yes, they're loud and sometimes a bit obnoxious but they're also engaged and excited and just fun.
I decided to make a new banner for them. Obviously it wouldn't look nearly as good as the one they had made; but it'd be better than nothing. Between that banner though and having to finish up some work, I was up almost all night (2 hours of sleep to be exact). So yeah, obviously Friday was a rough day.
But then, my staff made it all better. Two of them called me that evening - very mysteriously - and insisted that I came back to the building (I was at dinner with a couple other FYAs). When I got back, they had gotten all dressed up and had flowers and it was just so cute!!!
Last night and tonight I hung out with them for a bit - just chatting and playing around and having fun. It just reminded me of what I like about my job.
The breakfast this morning was also fun. I wasn't excited about being up that early on a Saturday - but they made pancakes and we hung out and talked and it was just nice. I get lonely sometimes - with my family being so far away and now having moved away from my friends from undergrad and grad schools and not really having made that many new friends yet. But when I get to hang out with my staff, it's like I have a family again, a group of people that actually cares about me. I often feel like I don't fit in with the professional staff members - but with my RAs, I can be myself and I know they'll still love me. :-) What would I do without them???
I don't know if there's a "perfect man" out there for me, but I know there is a perfect staff - not perfect in the sense that they do everything right and are always on top of their work...we struggle at times and disagree...but they're perfect in that they make me love my job and know how to put a smile back on my face when I've had a rough day.
Last movie I watched: The Perfect Man (Do you think there is a perfect man out there for me? My romantic me says yes; the realistic me questions it.)
This week could have been pretty bad. Let's be honest; it was pretty bad. I didn't get everything done that I needed to do last weekend - so I was up late Sunday night trying to get ready for the week - which of course meant that I started Monday exhausted, tired and stressed. That night, my staff and I talked about staff development - we had set aside Saturday, the 13th for staff development - and it turned out that several of them had made different plans and in the end we decided to just have breakfast together at 9 AM on a Saturday. I was NOT excited! How could they make plans when we had said at the beginning of the semester that we'd set that date aside for staff development?
The week continued; it was stressful. I didn't get all my advising notes done. I stayed up late almost every night working on different things. There was just not enough time! My apartment became more and more of a mess (it still is now) and it's made me feel more and more unsettled and annoyed and frustrated.
Then, Thursday night, my Community Council was decorating for the Homecoming Decorating Contest. They had made this beautiful banner with our mascot on it. Serioulsy, I'd never seen such a beautiful banner. It was AMAZING! They put it up around 9 PM. Later that night, I was in my apartment when my grad called me - "the banner was gone." The string had been cut and there was no trace of the banner. We were so upset. I felt awful for my Community Council. I also felt like it was an attack against us - our hall had just won this competition between all the residence halls and I've heard lots of "talk" about my building and the craziness of our staff and residents...what people don't get is that it's a very positive craziness...yes, they're loud and sometimes a bit obnoxious but they're also engaged and excited and just fun.
I decided to make a new banner for them. Obviously it wouldn't look nearly as good as the one they had made; but it'd be better than nothing. Between that banner though and having to finish up some work, I was up almost all night (2 hours of sleep to be exact). So yeah, obviously Friday was a rough day.
But then, my staff made it all better. Two of them called me that evening - very mysteriously - and insisted that I came back to the building (I was at dinner with a couple other FYAs). When I got back, they had gotten all dressed up and had flowers and it was just so cute!!!
Last night and tonight I hung out with them for a bit - just chatting and playing around and having fun. It just reminded me of what I like about my job.
The breakfast this morning was also fun. I wasn't excited about being up that early on a Saturday - but they made pancakes and we hung out and talked and it was just nice. I get lonely sometimes - with my family being so far away and now having moved away from my friends from undergrad and grad schools and not really having made that many new friends yet. But when I get to hang out with my staff, it's like I have a family again, a group of people that actually cares about me. I often feel like I don't fit in with the professional staff members - but with my RAs, I can be myself and I know they'll still love me. :-) What would I do without them???
I don't know if there's a "perfect man" out there for me, but I know there is a perfect staff - not perfect in the sense that they do everything right and are always on top of their work...we struggle at times and disagree...but they're perfect in that they make me love my job and know how to put a smile back on my face when I've had a rough day.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Parents and Ethics
Mood: drained
Chocolate or Vanilla: in regards to ice cream or pudding, definitely vanilla...but I love Austrian chocolate :)
I think we should send parents through a mandatory ethics course when their children come to college. Seriously, sometimes I just can't believe the things these parents say. It does explain their children's behaviors though.
In the past few weeks, I've had some "interesting" parent phone call. First there was one from a mom, who wanted me to move out her son's roommate because her son thinks that the roommate is gay. Besides the fact that this student has not come out to anyone and there is absolutely no reason to assume that he is gay, this is clearly discrimination. So I explained to mother in a very nice and patient way that at our institution we do not move students based on sexual orientation because that would be discrimination. The mother continued to insist that nobody should have to live with someone who identifies as gay and even hinted that I may not be "typical."
Way to go, mom...let's all teach our children how to discriminate! I mean, I'm not saying I'm perfect...I have my own issues and may not be as open-minded toward every single social group...but if someone clearly explains to me that something I'm suggesting is discrimination, I would at least hesitate for a second and re-evaluate my request.
But not this lovely mom. I even suggested that if there were certain behaviors that made the student uncomfortable, we could address these behaviors (while on the inside, I was boiling and would have loved nothing more than to hang up), but oh no, that wasn't enough.
And then today...another fabulous parent phone call. This mother was complaining that her student was documented for an incident and now had to attend a substance abuse course and pay for that course. The mother seemed to be under the impression that her son had been drinking outside of the residence hall and then just came back intoxicated (which in itself is a violation...he's not 21!!!). In reality (which of course I couldn't say), the student had been caught smoking marihuana in the building and had also been found with paraphenalia.
So I explained to the mom how our judicial process works. At my institution, I actually don't deal with alcohol or drug violations, but those are taken care off through our Judicial Office. So all my staff and I did was document the incident. And between us, the student was lucky that he didn't get arrested! Because he should have been but the police decided to turn the case over to the RAs (which they definitely shouldn't have...but that's a whole other story).
So here were the mom's "ethical" suggestions:
1) Since my staff only "catches" those studens who violate policies before 2 am (my staff stops doing rounds at 2 am), we shouldn't document those students because the really "bad kids" don't come back until 3:30 or 4 am.
2) And after I explained that my staff and I don't assign charges or decide sanctions in these cases, she suggested we should have just not turned in the documentations.
How's that for ethical???
Seriously, what are you teaching your children???
Chocolate or Vanilla: in regards to ice cream or pudding, definitely vanilla...but I love Austrian chocolate :)
I think we should send parents through a mandatory ethics course when their children come to college. Seriously, sometimes I just can't believe the things these parents say. It does explain their children's behaviors though.
In the past few weeks, I've had some "interesting" parent phone call. First there was one from a mom, who wanted me to move out her son's roommate because her son thinks that the roommate is gay. Besides the fact that this student has not come out to anyone and there is absolutely no reason to assume that he is gay, this is clearly discrimination. So I explained to mother in a very nice and patient way that at our institution we do not move students based on sexual orientation because that would be discrimination. The mother continued to insist that nobody should have to live with someone who identifies as gay and even hinted that I may not be "typical."
Way to go, mom...let's all teach our children how to discriminate! I mean, I'm not saying I'm perfect...I have my own issues and may not be as open-minded toward every single social group...but if someone clearly explains to me that something I'm suggesting is discrimination, I would at least hesitate for a second and re-evaluate my request.
But not this lovely mom. I even suggested that if there were certain behaviors that made the student uncomfortable, we could address these behaviors (while on the inside, I was boiling and would have loved nothing more than to hang up), but oh no, that wasn't enough.
And then today...another fabulous parent phone call. This mother was complaining that her student was documented for an incident and now had to attend a substance abuse course and pay for that course. The mother seemed to be under the impression that her son had been drinking outside of the residence hall and then just came back intoxicated (which in itself is a violation...he's not 21!!!). In reality (which of course I couldn't say), the student had been caught smoking marihuana in the building and had also been found with paraphenalia.
So I explained to the mom how our judicial process works. At my institution, I actually don't deal with alcohol or drug violations, but those are taken care off through our Judicial Office. So all my staff and I did was document the incident. And between us, the student was lucky that he didn't get arrested! Because he should have been but the police decided to turn the case over to the RAs (which they definitely shouldn't have...but that's a whole other story).
So here were the mom's "ethical" suggestions:
1) Since my staff only "catches" those studens who violate policies before 2 am (my staff stops doing rounds at 2 am), we shouldn't document those students because the really "bad kids" don't come back until 3:30 or 4 am.
2) And after I explained that my staff and I don't assign charges or decide sanctions in these cases, she suggested we should have just not turned in the documentations.
How's that for ethical???
Seriously, what are you teaching your children???
Saturday, September 22, 2007
A Weekend in the Life of...
Mood: excited
To Do List: shower, ironing, grading papers, getting some sleep
It's Sunday evening, or actually Monday morning already, and as always, I'm asking myself, "Where did the weekend go?"
It was a quite eventful weekend, but not a very productive one. Well, after last weekend where we had Community Council Training on Saturday and a Leadership Conference on Sunday, I deserved a little time to relax and do nothing. So Friday, after a long day of meetings and advising, I went to a broomball game (broomball is this weird sport played on ice in special broomball shoes and with these little stick-broom things...similar to ice hockey...i'm not sure how to explain it). A couple of my residents have an intramural team (well, there's actually several teams in my building) and named it after me, so I figured I should show my support. I have to admit, it was kind of flattering to have a broomball team named after me...haha.
Well, I met one of the other staff members there and we hung out watching the students play broomball for a while. Then, we went to the Student Union and watched a movie there. I got back and hung out with my RAs who were on duty. We just talked. I'd been so busy that past week that I hadn't really seen them in a while, so it was really nice just to catch up.
On Saturday, I slept in late...after all it was the first time in weeks when I had a chance to sleep in. Then, I hung around the apartment for a while, watching TV, not really doing anything. At night, we went out to one of the state parks in the area and hung out at a friend's house (he works at the state park) and celebrated a couple of birthdays from that past week. It was pretty nice. I have to admit though, sometimes I have more fun hanging out with my RAs than with colleagues. I just feel like certain colleagues judge me for the fact that I don't drink alcohol. You would think that in Student Affairs - a field where we all try to educate our residents about safe and responsible drinking and making smart choices - we would be supportive of staff members who choose not to drink. Yeah, not so much. Half the time, I don't even get invited. And when I do, it's just kinda awkward because people tend to make a big deal out of me not drinking. Last night was actually much better than it had previously been. I think people here are slowly getting used to the fact that I don't drink. And maybe I'm the one making it awkward sometimes...but after dealing with drunk and stupid students I just don't have much patience for colleagues who get trashed. I mean, haven't we grown out of that phase yet? It's not like we're still 18 years old! But then again, think of the social activities at our regional and national conferences and some of the behavior you can witness there.... Enough said!
I know sometimes I'm also very quiet at those events. It's just that I'm usually thinking about a million things. And I just haven't found that "soulmate" here yet that I can just talk to and vent and be totally honest with. And until you have that kind of relationship, it's just hard to talk sometimes, you know.
But no, Saturdaynight was definitely fun.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you about the most thing that happened Saturday. I bought my plane tickets to go to Austria over winter break. $700! But it'll be worth it just to get out of here and to see my friends and family again. I haven't been at home in four years. How crazy is that??? So it's definitely exciting that I'm going to get home. It's also a little scary. My family and I sometimes fight and that's never good...I never mean to, it just somehow happens. And I really don't want to fight...not when we only see each other every few years. But how can you stop that?
Anyway, I'm not trying to think about that...I'm just trying to be excited. :)
I e-mailed my friends to give them the dates of when I'll be home and we've already started talking about what we wanted to do together and when we could hang out. I can't wait!!!
Oh yeah, I guess since I'm writing about my "weekend," I should also mention SUNDAY. I guess that's part of the weekend for normal people, huh? Not so much here. I had six advising appointments today. In between, I talked to a couple of my RAs...just really catching up on things and trying to get a heads start for the week. And now it's late at night/early in the morning and I feel like I still have all these things that I should have been doing. Is it Fall Break yet? Or even better...WINTER BREAK IN AUSTRIA!!! :)
To Do List: shower, ironing, grading papers, getting some sleep
It's Sunday evening, or actually Monday morning already, and as always, I'm asking myself, "Where did the weekend go?"
It was a quite eventful weekend, but not a very productive one. Well, after last weekend where we had Community Council Training on Saturday and a Leadership Conference on Sunday, I deserved a little time to relax and do nothing. So Friday, after a long day of meetings and advising, I went to a broomball game (broomball is this weird sport played on ice in special broomball shoes and with these little stick-broom things...similar to ice hockey...i'm not sure how to explain it). A couple of my residents have an intramural team (well, there's actually several teams in my building) and named it after me, so I figured I should show my support. I have to admit, it was kind of flattering to have a broomball team named after me...haha.
Well, I met one of the other staff members there and we hung out watching the students play broomball for a while. Then, we went to the Student Union and watched a movie there. I got back and hung out with my RAs who were on duty. We just talked. I'd been so busy that past week that I hadn't really seen them in a while, so it was really nice just to catch up.
On Saturday, I slept in late...after all it was the first time in weeks when I had a chance to sleep in. Then, I hung around the apartment for a while, watching TV, not really doing anything. At night, we went out to one of the state parks in the area and hung out at a friend's house (he works at the state park) and celebrated a couple of birthdays from that past week. It was pretty nice. I have to admit though, sometimes I have more fun hanging out with my RAs than with colleagues. I just feel like certain colleagues judge me for the fact that I don't drink alcohol. You would think that in Student Affairs - a field where we all try to educate our residents about safe and responsible drinking and making smart choices - we would be supportive of staff members who choose not to drink. Yeah, not so much. Half the time, I don't even get invited. And when I do, it's just kinda awkward because people tend to make a big deal out of me not drinking. Last night was actually much better than it had previously been. I think people here are slowly getting used to the fact that I don't drink. And maybe I'm the one making it awkward sometimes...but after dealing with drunk and stupid students I just don't have much patience for colleagues who get trashed. I mean, haven't we grown out of that phase yet? It's not like we're still 18 years old! But then again, think of the social activities at our regional and national conferences and some of the behavior you can witness there.... Enough said!
I know sometimes I'm also very quiet at those events. It's just that I'm usually thinking about a million things. And I just haven't found that "soulmate" here yet that I can just talk to and vent and be totally honest with. And until you have that kind of relationship, it's just hard to talk sometimes, you know.
But no, Saturdaynight was definitely fun.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you about the most thing that happened Saturday. I bought my plane tickets to go to Austria over winter break. $700! But it'll be worth it just to get out of here and to see my friends and family again. I haven't been at home in four years. How crazy is that??? So it's definitely exciting that I'm going to get home. It's also a little scary. My family and I sometimes fight and that's never good...I never mean to, it just somehow happens. And I really don't want to fight...not when we only see each other every few years. But how can you stop that?
Anyway, I'm not trying to think about that...I'm just trying to be excited. :)
I e-mailed my friends to give them the dates of when I'll be home and we've already started talking about what we wanted to do together and when we could hang out. I can't wait!!!
Oh yeah, I guess since I'm writing about my "weekend," I should also mention SUNDAY. I guess that's part of the weekend for normal people, huh? Not so much here. I had six advising appointments today. In between, I talked to a couple of my RAs...just really catching up on things and trying to get a heads start for the week. And now it's late at night/early in the morning and I feel like I still have all these things that I should have been doing. Is it Fall Break yet? Or even better...WINTER BREAK IN AUSTRIA!!! :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Frustrations
Mood: Content
If your life was made into a Hollywood, who would you want to play you and why: Alicia Silverstone because she is an animal rights activitist and overall a pretty good role model for a Hollywood star (e.g. she refused to lose weight even though people were criticizing her weight...when really she looked just fine). OR if it was a musical, it'd have to Hilary Duff just because I like her and she can sing.
I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV (A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff), working on a bulletin board, downloading music (legally, of course) and updating this blog. Oh and I'm also making dinner (vegan nuggets and fries). If that isn't multi-tasking, I don't know what is. :)
Here's one of my goals for this semester: Learn how to better manage frustration. I have a tendency to let frustration get to me...and then I'm all mad and annoyed and it just drags me down. And in the long run, all this being mad and worrying doesn't help. So I want to learn how to accept the frustrations of life, try to fix them but not let them bother me.
I'm not doing so well...but somehow, I've been upset and frustrated all week...but somehow today I've managed to just kind of put all those negative thoughts aside and I'm feeling pretty content.
But let me tell you all about my frustrations:
First there were the Community Council elections. My two graduate assistants (one advises the Community Council in our building, the other one has taken on the council in another building) had to deal with all that drama but as their supervisor, I felt their frustration. So this Central Staff member offered to help with putting the elections online...they were just supposed to send him the info the day before elections. They did and then the day of election comes and there's no online elections, no e-mail sent out to residents, no information for us on what's going on. Residents are knocking on all of our doors asking what's going on. Remember, I am in the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community...so at least some of my residents are taking these council elections really serious.
Well, the grads and I decided we'd just figure out this online election thing ourselves. So the grads set up those elections, e-mail our residents and extend the deadline for one day. That day, Thursday (one day after elections were supposed to happen) at 4:30 PM (our elections ended at 5 PM) a second e-mail comes out with a link to vote in elections and a new deadline (Friday) AND it looks like the e-mail is coming from my grad's e-mail address. Turns out, our central staff member did finally get around to setting up those elections and just sent them out without checking in with us...a day and a half late.
You can imagine the confusion amongst residents. Both of my grads sent out clarification e-mails in an attempt to save the situation. It worked alright for our building. It didn't work so well in the other building and there had to be a re-count and lots more e-mails. My poor grad (she's a first-year and new to ResLife) had her first Academic Advising Workshop (workshops we do for each corridor, explaining some of the basics about academic advising to them) and one of the residents says, "Oh, you're the person who's been sending us those 120 e-mails." What a great way to start the semester and her career in ResLife for her! (*sarcasm*)
And there was nothing I could do...other than listen to them vent and trying to help them save the situation from turning worse. But of course they were worried about looking like incompetent fools in front of the residents and there really wasn't much we could do to change that. Argh!!!
I mean, I appreciate the offer of the Central Staff member to help with online elections. But if you won't have time to do them, then don't volunteer! Or if something comes up and you can't get them done, at least send us an e-mail saying, "Hey, sorry, they'll be up tomorrow." And do NOT send e-mails from our e-mail address (I still don't know how he managed to do that).
Still trying to get over that frustration, I'm sitting in my office on Friday afternoon, when I get an e-mail around 4:30 PM about Senator Training (one of the positions on our councils). And guess what the e-mail stated? Senator Training is TODAY at 5 PM or there's a section session tomorrow. Wow, we get a whole 30 minute notice...wasn't that nice. So there we go again...my grad's trying to hunt down the student praying that he'll be free at 5. Fortunately he was. But how professional does that make us look when we tell him about training half an hour before it starts?
Of course everyone else was to blame. And I'm not saying it's the RHA's Advisor's fault. But it's one of those things you can predict as an advisor (apparently they knew the date, just not the specific time and location...and supposedly that information was in the packets handed out by RHA members to students at Info sessions - info sessions nobody attended by the way since we all had our own info sessions because we weren't told until last minute when the RHA one's would be....but this vital information wasn't in the Elections Packets e-mailed to advisors, which were the ones we, of course, used). I know that when you work with student organization, you have to find a balance between stepping in and "saving" them and letting them fail and learn from those experiences. But when all of your advisory staff and the success of 36 student organizations depend on something getting done on time, you need to be a little more hands-on as an advisor. Otherwise, you're just setting us all up for failure. And it's not like it'll be RHA's fault when Community Councils aren't working out. No, it'll be the fault of the advisors.
WHAT A MESS!!!
And what makes this even more frustrating for me is that I worked with RHA last year. I went through that whole process. And my co-advisor and I came up with all these things we wanted to make sure happened this summer and mistakes from the past that we wanted to avoid. And what happened to all that work? Nothing. It's like we're repeating all the mistakes from the past. Okay, maybe it's not that bad...there's some things the students have improved on their own. But there's just a lot more that the advisors could have been doing to support them and make this a truly successful year. And once they're off to the right start, they could step back and let them figure out things on their own.
I'm not advocating for doing their work for them. But maybe guiding them to set earlier deadlines, so when things don't get done, you can still work with them to fix it.
Okay, I'm gonna be really really honest here...part of this frustration is that I'm torn. Half of me wants RHA to succeed this year (because I love those students...I know how much they want this and how much RHA means to them...and they're fabulous...they just need a little guidance and support) and then the other half wants them to fail miserable. Because it would serve the department right for not giving RHA to me.
*Shrug* Like I said, I need to learn to better manage my frustrations. So let's not think about RHA right now but get back to work on this exciting Saturday night (yeah, so much for balance...I worked today and I have to work tomorrow...and not by choice or any slacking/procrastinating on my part). *Deep breath*
It'll be alright!
If your life was made into a Hollywood, who would you want to play you and why: Alicia Silverstone because she is an animal rights activitist and overall a pretty good role model for a Hollywood star (e.g. she refused to lose weight even though people were criticizing her weight...when really she looked just fine). OR if it was a musical, it'd have to Hilary Duff just because I like her and she can sing.
I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV (A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff), working on a bulletin board, downloading music (legally, of course) and updating this blog. Oh and I'm also making dinner (vegan nuggets and fries). If that isn't multi-tasking, I don't know what is. :)
Here's one of my goals for this semester: Learn how to better manage frustration. I have a tendency to let frustration get to me...and then I'm all mad and annoyed and it just drags me down. And in the long run, all this being mad and worrying doesn't help. So I want to learn how to accept the frustrations of life, try to fix them but not let them bother me.
I'm not doing so well...but somehow, I've been upset and frustrated all week...but somehow today I've managed to just kind of put all those negative thoughts aside and I'm feeling pretty content.
But let me tell you all about my frustrations:
First there were the Community Council elections. My two graduate assistants (one advises the Community Council in our building, the other one has taken on the council in another building) had to deal with all that drama but as their supervisor, I felt their frustration. So this Central Staff member offered to help with putting the elections online...they were just supposed to send him the info the day before elections. They did and then the day of election comes and there's no online elections, no e-mail sent out to residents, no information for us on what's going on. Residents are knocking on all of our doors asking what's going on. Remember, I am in the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community...so at least some of my residents are taking these council elections really serious.
Well, the grads and I decided we'd just figure out this online election thing ourselves. So the grads set up those elections, e-mail our residents and extend the deadline for one day. That day, Thursday (one day after elections were supposed to happen) at 4:30 PM (our elections ended at 5 PM) a second e-mail comes out with a link to vote in elections and a new deadline (Friday) AND it looks like the e-mail is coming from my grad's e-mail address. Turns out, our central staff member did finally get around to setting up those elections and just sent them out without checking in with us...a day and a half late.
You can imagine the confusion amongst residents. Both of my grads sent out clarification e-mails in an attempt to save the situation. It worked alright for our building. It didn't work so well in the other building and there had to be a re-count and lots more e-mails. My poor grad (she's a first-year and new to ResLife) had her first Academic Advising Workshop (workshops we do for each corridor, explaining some of the basics about academic advising to them) and one of the residents says, "Oh, you're the person who's been sending us those 120 e-mails." What a great way to start the semester and her career in ResLife for her! (*sarcasm*)
And there was nothing I could do...other than listen to them vent and trying to help them save the situation from turning worse. But of course they were worried about looking like incompetent fools in front of the residents and there really wasn't much we could do to change that. Argh!!!
I mean, I appreciate the offer of the Central Staff member to help with online elections. But if you won't have time to do them, then don't volunteer! Or if something comes up and you can't get them done, at least send us an e-mail saying, "Hey, sorry, they'll be up tomorrow." And do NOT send e-mails from our e-mail address (I still don't know how he managed to do that).
Still trying to get over that frustration, I'm sitting in my office on Friday afternoon, when I get an e-mail around 4:30 PM about Senator Training (one of the positions on our councils). And guess what the e-mail stated? Senator Training is TODAY at 5 PM or there's a section session tomorrow. Wow, we get a whole 30 minute notice...wasn't that nice. So there we go again...my grad's trying to hunt down the student praying that he'll be free at 5. Fortunately he was. But how professional does that make us look when we tell him about training half an hour before it starts?
Of course everyone else was to blame. And I'm not saying it's the RHA's Advisor's fault. But it's one of those things you can predict as an advisor (apparently they knew the date, just not the specific time and location...and supposedly that information was in the packets handed out by RHA members to students at Info sessions - info sessions nobody attended by the way since we all had our own info sessions because we weren't told until last minute when the RHA one's would be....but this vital information wasn't in the Elections Packets e-mailed to advisors, which were the ones we, of course, used). I know that when you work with student organization, you have to find a balance between stepping in and "saving" them and letting them fail and learn from those experiences. But when all of your advisory staff and the success of 36 student organizations depend on something getting done on time, you need to be a little more hands-on as an advisor. Otherwise, you're just setting us all up for failure. And it's not like it'll be RHA's fault when Community Councils aren't working out. No, it'll be the fault of the advisors.
WHAT A MESS!!!
And what makes this even more frustrating for me is that I worked with RHA last year. I went through that whole process. And my co-advisor and I came up with all these things we wanted to make sure happened this summer and mistakes from the past that we wanted to avoid. And what happened to all that work? Nothing. It's like we're repeating all the mistakes from the past. Okay, maybe it's not that bad...there's some things the students have improved on their own. But there's just a lot more that the advisors could have been doing to support them and make this a truly successful year. And once they're off to the right start, they could step back and let them figure out things on their own.
I'm not advocating for doing their work for them. But maybe guiding them to set earlier deadlines, so when things don't get done, you can still work with them to fix it.
Okay, I'm gonna be really really honest here...part of this frustration is that I'm torn. Half of me wants RHA to succeed this year (because I love those students...I know how much they want this and how much RHA means to them...and they're fabulous...they just need a little guidance and support) and then the other half wants them to fail miserable. Because it would serve the department right for not giving RHA to me.
*Shrug* Like I said, I need to learn to better manage my frustrations. So let's not think about RHA right now but get back to work on this exciting Saturday night (yeah, so much for balance...I worked today and I have to work tomorrow...and not by choice or any slacking/procrastinating on my part). *Deep breath*
It'll be alright!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
To live and learn...
TV show I'm watching while writing this: Cory in the House (yup, you gotta love that Disneychannel)
Quote of the Day: "The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way." - Henry Miller
It's Sunday and I've just spent the past few hours preparing for my staff meeting. Yup, working on a Sunday...but I know this week will be crazy (actually the next few weeks), so I'd rather have everything ready to go.
I work with the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community this year. And I've decided to try this new Residential Curriculum approach. So I spent all summer developing the outline of our curriculum. What I didn't get around to was making all the handouts and resource guides for my staff.
But let me start from the beginning...
This whole idea of having a Residential Curriculum means - at least from my understanding - that as the professional staff you develop a detailed plan of what initiatives you want to have going on in your community. You can go as far as making lesson plans for events or corridor meetings. The RAs, then, are the faciliators of those initiatives.
The way I've set up my curriculum, there's a theme each month. And each month, RAs are expected to have conversations with their residents about this theme, do a bulletin board that relates to the theme, and organize a corridor event related to that theme. And I give them resource guides for each of these initiatives, some more detailed than others. For example, for the first couple of corridor meetings, we had very detailed lesson plans with learning outcomes, activities, topics to cover and and and. But then, for the first corridor event, we simply asked them to do some type of team building activity. These ranged from playing team builders in the lounge to a scavenger hunt in teams to writing a song together. That way, while I know that residents are getting certain things out of the programs, RAs can still take ownership of their programs and use their creativity.
So far, this Residential Curriculum thing has been going really well. The RAs seem to like it. I think, at least, that my residents are getting a lot out of it.
But there's some challenges:
1) It takes quite some time to come up with all these resource guides, calendars for the RAs and and and.
2) One of the focuses of our curriculum is for the RAs to have individual conversations with residents about the monthly themes. While some of them are doing really well with these conversations, others just don't have as serious or meaningful conversations as I'd like them to have.
3) Similarly, it's hard to know how well the RAs faciliate the meetings based on my lesson plans. We talk in 1:1's afterwards to reflect on the meetings and events, but that still doesn't always give me a good understanding of what they did. And with ten RAs, I just don't have the time to go and observe everyone's meetings and events...I may have to start doing that soon though.
4) Since our department doesn't have the same model, RAs weren't trained in the general RA Training to be facilitators and to have those conversations...so a lot of that stuff had to happen during In-Hall Training and there just wasn't enough time for everything. Even now, during staff meetings, it's hard to get everything done.
Well, we'll just have to wait and see how things go....
Quote of the Day: "The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way." - Henry Miller
It's Sunday and I've just spent the past few hours preparing for my staff meeting. Yup, working on a Sunday...but I know this week will be crazy (actually the next few weeks), so I'd rather have everything ready to go.
I work with the CHANGE - Emerging Community Leaders - Living Learning Community this year. And I've decided to try this new Residential Curriculum approach. So I spent all summer developing the outline of our curriculum. What I didn't get around to was making all the handouts and resource guides for my staff.
But let me start from the beginning...
This whole idea of having a Residential Curriculum means - at least from my understanding - that as the professional staff you develop a detailed plan of what initiatives you want to have going on in your community. You can go as far as making lesson plans for events or corridor meetings. The RAs, then, are the faciliators of those initiatives.
The way I've set up my curriculum, there's a theme each month. And each month, RAs are expected to have conversations with their residents about this theme, do a bulletin board that relates to the theme, and organize a corridor event related to that theme. And I give them resource guides for each of these initiatives, some more detailed than others. For example, for the first couple of corridor meetings, we had very detailed lesson plans with learning outcomes, activities, topics to cover and and and. But then, for the first corridor event, we simply asked them to do some type of team building activity. These ranged from playing team builders in the lounge to a scavenger hunt in teams to writing a song together. That way, while I know that residents are getting certain things out of the programs, RAs can still take ownership of their programs and use their creativity.
So far, this Residential Curriculum thing has been going really well. The RAs seem to like it. I think, at least, that my residents are getting a lot out of it.
But there's some challenges:
1) It takes quite some time to come up with all these resource guides, calendars for the RAs and and and.
2) One of the focuses of our curriculum is for the RAs to have individual conversations with residents about the monthly themes. While some of them are doing really well with these conversations, others just don't have as serious or meaningful conversations as I'd like them to have.
3) Similarly, it's hard to know how well the RAs faciliate the meetings based on my lesson plans. We talk in 1:1's afterwards to reflect on the meetings and events, but that still doesn't always give me a good understanding of what they did. And with ten RAs, I just don't have the time to go and observe everyone's meetings and events...I may have to start doing that soon though.
4) Since our department doesn't have the same model, RAs weren't trained in the general RA Training to be facilitators and to have those conversations...so a lot of that stuff had to happen during In-Hall Training and there just wasn't enough time for everything. Even now, during staff meetings, it's hard to get everything done.
Well, we'll just have to wait and see how things go....
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Changes
Last TV show I watched: "How I Met Your Mother" (I talked to my friends from Austria today and they said this is the latest show they're obsessed with, so I had to check it out.)
Book I'm currently reading: Emma (Jane Austein)
It's a new academic year and a lot has changed. We've had a lot of turnover in our ResLife department; about half the staff is new. Only one of my RAs from last year returned to the position and she stayed in the same building, while I moved, so we are not working together anymore. Yes, I have moved...I'm responsible for a different living learning community this year: the CHANGE Living Learning Community. [For those of you, who are new to my blog: I work as a Hall Director/Academic Adviser in a first-year residence hall.] I have two graduate assistants this year, one who lives in the building with me and co-supervises the staff with me and one, whose main responsiblity is the academic advising of some of my residents. I have 10 Resident Assistants, one returner and nine new staff members.
But having a lot of new staff isn't the only change...I've developed a Residential Curriculum for my living learning community, which my staff is now implementing. I'm teaching a course for my living learning community. I'm chairing a committee, the professional staff training committee. I'm co-advising the National Residence Hall Honorary.
Those of you, who have been following my blog know that I co-advised the Residence Hall Association and it was my favorite thing about my job. I asked to get to advise the organization again, thinking not just of my own happiness (even though I'll admit that it was a huge factor) but also the importance of an advisor providing continuity to an organization...but for whatever reason, instead of me, three new advisors were chosen. It broke my heart. It may seem silly, but yes, I cried. I've been bitter and frustrated since, whenever the organization is mentioned. And I'm having a really hard time finding anything positive to say about those staff members, who had a say in this decision.
I feel like I was given the National Residence Hall Honorary in a large part to make me shut up - so I would still have that "advising experience" that I asked for. And I'm going to enjoy working with those students...but let's be honest: there is no need to have three advisors for an chapter of about 10 students. And I'm really not excited about working with my two co-advisors. *Sigh* I'll get over it eventually.
So with my responsibilities for the Residence Hall Association (RHA) gone, I have thrown myself head over heels into my living learning community. I live and breath "CHANGE." Over the past few weeks, I've spent every free minute hanging out with my RAs or walking around my building. I've developed closer relationships with most of my RAs than I ever had with my staff last year; and I already now a decent number of residents. But this weekend, for the first time, I realized that I'm starting to get drained. While RHA was still work, it got me out of the building. Now, I have no reason to ever leave here.
I also have a new supervisor this year. My old supervisor left (after just one year at our institution...hmm, what does that tell you?) and I miss her. I felt like I could talk to her. We didn't always agree, but she wasn't trying to run my life. This year, I'm dreading 1-on-1's because I feel like I constantly have to defend myself, my lifestyle, my attitude toward work. I'm asked for feedback, but when I give it, I'm attacked for what I said. I'm asked to share, but I feel like any information I spill will be used against me later on.
Don't get me wrong...a lot of things have improved from last year. I have the living learning community I wanted; I feel a lot more comfortable with my job responsibilites; I have two amazing graduate assistants and 10 fabulous RAs. But I feel lonely and misunderstood...I'm living in my bubble and I dread those times when I have to leave my building and talk to central staff.
So, let the drama continue. It's going to be an interesting year.
Book I'm currently reading: Emma (Jane Austein)
It's a new academic year and a lot has changed. We've had a lot of turnover in our ResLife department; about half the staff is new. Only one of my RAs from last year returned to the position and she stayed in the same building, while I moved, so we are not working together anymore. Yes, I have moved...I'm responsible for a different living learning community this year: the CHANGE Living Learning Community. [For those of you, who are new to my blog: I work as a Hall Director/Academic Adviser in a first-year residence hall.] I have two graduate assistants this year, one who lives in the building with me and co-supervises the staff with me and one, whose main responsiblity is the academic advising of some of my residents. I have 10 Resident Assistants, one returner and nine new staff members.
But having a lot of new staff isn't the only change...I've developed a Residential Curriculum for my living learning community, which my staff is now implementing. I'm teaching a course for my living learning community. I'm chairing a committee, the professional staff training committee. I'm co-advising the National Residence Hall Honorary.
Those of you, who have been following my blog know that I co-advised the Residence Hall Association and it was my favorite thing about my job. I asked to get to advise the organization again, thinking not just of my own happiness (even though I'll admit that it was a huge factor) but also the importance of an advisor providing continuity to an organization...but for whatever reason, instead of me, three new advisors were chosen. It broke my heart. It may seem silly, but yes, I cried. I've been bitter and frustrated since, whenever the organization is mentioned. And I'm having a really hard time finding anything positive to say about those staff members, who had a say in this decision.
I feel like I was given the National Residence Hall Honorary in a large part to make me shut up - so I would still have that "advising experience" that I asked for. And I'm going to enjoy working with those students...but let's be honest: there is no need to have three advisors for an chapter of about 10 students. And I'm really not excited about working with my two co-advisors. *Sigh* I'll get over it eventually.
So with my responsibilities for the Residence Hall Association (RHA) gone, I have thrown myself head over heels into my living learning community. I live and breath "CHANGE." Over the past few weeks, I've spent every free minute hanging out with my RAs or walking around my building. I've developed closer relationships with most of my RAs than I ever had with my staff last year; and I already now a decent number of residents. But this weekend, for the first time, I realized that I'm starting to get drained. While RHA was still work, it got me out of the building. Now, I have no reason to ever leave here.
I also have a new supervisor this year. My old supervisor left (after just one year at our institution...hmm, what does that tell you?) and I miss her. I felt like I could talk to her. We didn't always agree, but she wasn't trying to run my life. This year, I'm dreading 1-on-1's because I feel like I constantly have to defend myself, my lifestyle, my attitude toward work. I'm asked for feedback, but when I give it, I'm attacked for what I said. I'm asked to share, but I feel like any information I spill will be used against me later on.
Don't get me wrong...a lot of things have improved from last year. I have the living learning community I wanted; I feel a lot more comfortable with my job responsibilites; I have two amazing graduate assistants and 10 fabulous RAs. But I feel lonely and misunderstood...I'm living in my bubble and I dread those times when I have to leave my building and talk to central staff.
So, let the drama continue. It's going to be an interesting year.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Welcome to Year 2
Song playing in my head: "We're all in this together" (High School Musical)
Last person I talked to on the phone: one of my RAs, who was calling in regards to an incident (you gotta love being a live-in staff member)
Welcome to Year 2
Another academic year has started. It's now my second year as a full-time professional and also my second year at my current institution.
I remember last year around this time: the excitement, the anxiety, the goals and dreams. This year...hmmmm, there's still some excitement (I moved to a different building and am working with a new living learning community), definitely still some anxiety (with that new living learning community comes a lot of pressure to be successful, from supervisors as well as other departments), and yes, there's definitely still some goals and dreams. But I'd say I'm a lot more relaxed and definitely a lot more realistic.
Once again, I will try to take you along the ride for the year. You'll find out all about the ups and downs of Year 2. You will hear all about the adventures of my staff this year, find out all about the drama of our office, my frustration with office politics, and the complicated relationships we have with other departments and offices around campus. But most of all, you will find out what I think and how I feel about all this things...after all, this blog is all about ME. Haha. No, actually this blog should be about all of us. Some of you have been with me from my first "professional baby steps" in graduate school, as I was stressing out over the job search, to the completion of my first year as a new professional. You know more about what I think and how I feel than some of my best friends. And you've been with me and encouraged me and supported me through commenting and just by reading my blog for the past year and a half. So please, continue to read...continue to comment. Let me know what you think; let me know what you want to hear about. And if you are a new reader...welcome to my world.
Let Year 2 begin....
Last person I talked to on the phone: one of my RAs, who was calling in regards to an incident (you gotta love being a live-in staff member)
Welcome to Year 2
Another academic year has started. It's now my second year as a full-time professional and also my second year at my current institution.
I remember last year around this time: the excitement, the anxiety, the goals and dreams. This year...hmmmm, there's still some excitement (I moved to a different building and am working with a new living learning community), definitely still some anxiety (with that new living learning community comes a lot of pressure to be successful, from supervisors as well as other departments), and yes, there's definitely still some goals and dreams. But I'd say I'm a lot more relaxed and definitely a lot more realistic.
Once again, I will try to take you along the ride for the year. You'll find out all about the ups and downs of Year 2. You will hear all about the adventures of my staff this year, find out all about the drama of our office, my frustration with office politics, and the complicated relationships we have with other departments and offices around campus. But most of all, you will find out what I think and how I feel about all this things...after all, this blog is all about ME. Haha. No, actually this blog should be about all of us. Some of you have been with me from my first "professional baby steps" in graduate school, as I was stressing out over the job search, to the completion of my first year as a new professional. You know more about what I think and how I feel than some of my best friends. And you've been with me and encouraged me and supported me through commenting and just by reading my blog for the past year and a half. So please, continue to read...continue to comment. Let me know what you think; let me know what you want to hear about. And if you are a new reader...welcome to my world.
Let Year 2 begin....
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