So, this entry won't have much to do with Student Affairs and my job - except that anything can be related to Student Affairs because we love to talk about diversity, right?
Okay, so I was doing a round in the building and I ran into one of my RAs who told me that she just heard that Dumbledore (from Harry Potter) was gay. She had to tell me because she knew I'd be very excited. And oh, I was! I had to immediately check Mugglenet.com to see if it was true. And then, I made the big mistake of reading some of the reader's comments. Granted, many were positive - some were at least trying to be positive - and others were just disgusting. Someone said that they didn't like the serious anymore and would never be able to look at Harry Potter the same way.
The one comment that really got me thinking was one by a mother saying that as a mother, she would have expected JKR to dodge the question because she didn't want her children to hear that. Because sexual orientation brings up sex and kids shouldn't know about that. Now, I'm not about to explain the details of sex to five-year olds. But kids also see that there's a mommy and daddy...so why not tell them that some families have two daddies or two mommies. You don't need to talk about sex to explain that. You can just explain to your kids that Dumbledore, if he got married, would marry a guy. No big deal.
I think that would give you a great opportunity to talk to your children about how there are different kinds of couples and families.
Was it necessary to release Dumbledore's sexual orientation? Hmmm, maybe not. But why did we all assume that he was straight? JKR never said that either. Would it be such a big deal if she told us that Dumbledore liked vanilla ice cream? That's just as irrelevant to the story as that he was gay, but as fans we would have all been excited about learning more details about our favorite characters. And that's all JKR did...give us another detail about a character.
I know I will definitely have my children read Harry Potter - and they will know for sure that Dumbeldore is gay and what it means to be gay.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Perfect Staff
Mood: exhausted but content
Last movie I watched: The Perfect Man (Do you think there is a perfect man out there for me? My romantic me says yes; the realistic me questions it.)
This week could have been pretty bad. Let's be honest; it was pretty bad. I didn't get everything done that I needed to do last weekend - so I was up late Sunday night trying to get ready for the week - which of course meant that I started Monday exhausted, tired and stressed. That night, my staff and I talked about staff development - we had set aside Saturday, the 13th for staff development - and it turned out that several of them had made different plans and in the end we decided to just have breakfast together at 9 AM on a Saturday. I was NOT excited! How could they make plans when we had said at the beginning of the semester that we'd set that date aside for staff development?
The week continued; it was stressful. I didn't get all my advising notes done. I stayed up late almost every night working on different things. There was just not enough time! My apartment became more and more of a mess (it still is now) and it's made me feel more and more unsettled and annoyed and frustrated.
Then, Thursday night, my Community Council was decorating for the Homecoming Decorating Contest. They had made this beautiful banner with our mascot on it. Serioulsy, I'd never seen such a beautiful banner. It was AMAZING! They put it up around 9 PM. Later that night, I was in my apartment when my grad called me - "the banner was gone." The string had been cut and there was no trace of the banner. We were so upset. I felt awful for my Community Council. I also felt like it was an attack against us - our hall had just won this competition between all the residence halls and I've heard lots of "talk" about my building and the craziness of our staff and residents...what people don't get is that it's a very positive craziness...yes, they're loud and sometimes a bit obnoxious but they're also engaged and excited and just fun.
I decided to make a new banner for them. Obviously it wouldn't look nearly as good as the one they had made; but it'd be better than nothing. Between that banner though and having to finish up some work, I was up almost all night (2 hours of sleep to be exact). So yeah, obviously Friday was a rough day.
But then, my staff made it all better. Two of them called me that evening - very mysteriously - and insisted that I came back to the building (I was at dinner with a couple other FYAs). When I got back, they had gotten all dressed up and had flowers and it was just so cute!!!
Last night and tonight I hung out with them for a bit - just chatting and playing around and having fun. It just reminded me of what I like about my job.
The breakfast this morning was also fun. I wasn't excited about being up that early on a Saturday - but they made pancakes and we hung out and talked and it was just nice. I get lonely sometimes - with my family being so far away and now having moved away from my friends from undergrad and grad schools and not really having made that many new friends yet. But when I get to hang out with my staff, it's like I have a family again, a group of people that actually cares about me. I often feel like I don't fit in with the professional staff members - but with my RAs, I can be myself and I know they'll still love me. :-) What would I do without them???
I don't know if there's a "perfect man" out there for me, but I know there is a perfect staff - not perfect in the sense that they do everything right and are always on top of their work...we struggle at times and disagree...but they're perfect in that they make me love my job and know how to put a smile back on my face when I've had a rough day.
Last movie I watched: The Perfect Man (Do you think there is a perfect man out there for me? My romantic me says yes; the realistic me questions it.)
This week could have been pretty bad. Let's be honest; it was pretty bad. I didn't get everything done that I needed to do last weekend - so I was up late Sunday night trying to get ready for the week - which of course meant that I started Monday exhausted, tired and stressed. That night, my staff and I talked about staff development - we had set aside Saturday, the 13th for staff development - and it turned out that several of them had made different plans and in the end we decided to just have breakfast together at 9 AM on a Saturday. I was NOT excited! How could they make plans when we had said at the beginning of the semester that we'd set that date aside for staff development?
The week continued; it was stressful. I didn't get all my advising notes done. I stayed up late almost every night working on different things. There was just not enough time! My apartment became more and more of a mess (it still is now) and it's made me feel more and more unsettled and annoyed and frustrated.
Then, Thursday night, my Community Council was decorating for the Homecoming Decorating Contest. They had made this beautiful banner with our mascot on it. Serioulsy, I'd never seen such a beautiful banner. It was AMAZING! They put it up around 9 PM. Later that night, I was in my apartment when my grad called me - "the banner was gone." The string had been cut and there was no trace of the banner. We were so upset. I felt awful for my Community Council. I also felt like it was an attack against us - our hall had just won this competition between all the residence halls and I've heard lots of "talk" about my building and the craziness of our staff and residents...what people don't get is that it's a very positive craziness...yes, they're loud and sometimes a bit obnoxious but they're also engaged and excited and just fun.
I decided to make a new banner for them. Obviously it wouldn't look nearly as good as the one they had made; but it'd be better than nothing. Between that banner though and having to finish up some work, I was up almost all night (2 hours of sleep to be exact). So yeah, obviously Friday was a rough day.
But then, my staff made it all better. Two of them called me that evening - very mysteriously - and insisted that I came back to the building (I was at dinner with a couple other FYAs). When I got back, they had gotten all dressed up and had flowers and it was just so cute!!!
Last night and tonight I hung out with them for a bit - just chatting and playing around and having fun. It just reminded me of what I like about my job.
The breakfast this morning was also fun. I wasn't excited about being up that early on a Saturday - but they made pancakes and we hung out and talked and it was just nice. I get lonely sometimes - with my family being so far away and now having moved away from my friends from undergrad and grad schools and not really having made that many new friends yet. But when I get to hang out with my staff, it's like I have a family again, a group of people that actually cares about me. I often feel like I don't fit in with the professional staff members - but with my RAs, I can be myself and I know they'll still love me. :-) What would I do without them???
I don't know if there's a "perfect man" out there for me, but I know there is a perfect staff - not perfect in the sense that they do everything right and are always on top of their work...we struggle at times and disagree...but they're perfect in that they make me love my job and know how to put a smile back on my face when I've had a rough day.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Parents and Ethics
Mood: drained
Chocolate or Vanilla: in regards to ice cream or pudding, definitely vanilla...but I love Austrian chocolate :)
I think we should send parents through a mandatory ethics course when their children come to college. Seriously, sometimes I just can't believe the things these parents say. It does explain their children's behaviors though.
In the past few weeks, I've had some "interesting" parent phone call. First there was one from a mom, who wanted me to move out her son's roommate because her son thinks that the roommate is gay. Besides the fact that this student has not come out to anyone and there is absolutely no reason to assume that he is gay, this is clearly discrimination. So I explained to mother in a very nice and patient way that at our institution we do not move students based on sexual orientation because that would be discrimination. The mother continued to insist that nobody should have to live with someone who identifies as gay and even hinted that I may not be "typical."
Way to go, mom...let's all teach our children how to discriminate! I mean, I'm not saying I'm perfect...I have my own issues and may not be as open-minded toward every single social group...but if someone clearly explains to me that something I'm suggesting is discrimination, I would at least hesitate for a second and re-evaluate my request.
But not this lovely mom. I even suggested that if there were certain behaviors that made the student uncomfortable, we could address these behaviors (while on the inside, I was boiling and would have loved nothing more than to hang up), but oh no, that wasn't enough.
And then today...another fabulous parent phone call. This mother was complaining that her student was documented for an incident and now had to attend a substance abuse course and pay for that course. The mother seemed to be under the impression that her son had been drinking outside of the residence hall and then just came back intoxicated (which in itself is a violation...he's not 21!!!). In reality (which of course I couldn't say), the student had been caught smoking marihuana in the building and had also been found with paraphenalia.
So I explained to the mom how our judicial process works. At my institution, I actually don't deal with alcohol or drug violations, but those are taken care off through our Judicial Office. So all my staff and I did was document the incident. And between us, the student was lucky that he didn't get arrested! Because he should have been but the police decided to turn the case over to the RAs (which they definitely shouldn't have...but that's a whole other story).
So here were the mom's "ethical" suggestions:
1) Since my staff only "catches" those studens who violate policies before 2 am (my staff stops doing rounds at 2 am), we shouldn't document those students because the really "bad kids" don't come back until 3:30 or 4 am.
2) And after I explained that my staff and I don't assign charges or decide sanctions in these cases, she suggested we should have just not turned in the documentations.
How's that for ethical???
Seriously, what are you teaching your children???
Chocolate or Vanilla: in regards to ice cream or pudding, definitely vanilla...but I love Austrian chocolate :)
I think we should send parents through a mandatory ethics course when their children come to college. Seriously, sometimes I just can't believe the things these parents say. It does explain their children's behaviors though.
In the past few weeks, I've had some "interesting" parent phone call. First there was one from a mom, who wanted me to move out her son's roommate because her son thinks that the roommate is gay. Besides the fact that this student has not come out to anyone and there is absolutely no reason to assume that he is gay, this is clearly discrimination. So I explained to mother in a very nice and patient way that at our institution we do not move students based on sexual orientation because that would be discrimination. The mother continued to insist that nobody should have to live with someone who identifies as gay and even hinted that I may not be "typical."
Way to go, mom...let's all teach our children how to discriminate! I mean, I'm not saying I'm perfect...I have my own issues and may not be as open-minded toward every single social group...but if someone clearly explains to me that something I'm suggesting is discrimination, I would at least hesitate for a second and re-evaluate my request.
But not this lovely mom. I even suggested that if there were certain behaviors that made the student uncomfortable, we could address these behaviors (while on the inside, I was boiling and would have loved nothing more than to hang up), but oh no, that wasn't enough.
And then today...another fabulous parent phone call. This mother was complaining that her student was documented for an incident and now had to attend a substance abuse course and pay for that course. The mother seemed to be under the impression that her son had been drinking outside of the residence hall and then just came back intoxicated (which in itself is a violation...he's not 21!!!). In reality (which of course I couldn't say), the student had been caught smoking marihuana in the building and had also been found with paraphenalia.
So I explained to the mom how our judicial process works. At my institution, I actually don't deal with alcohol or drug violations, but those are taken care off through our Judicial Office. So all my staff and I did was document the incident. And between us, the student was lucky that he didn't get arrested! Because he should have been but the police decided to turn the case over to the RAs (which they definitely shouldn't have...but that's a whole other story).
So here were the mom's "ethical" suggestions:
1) Since my staff only "catches" those studens who violate policies before 2 am (my staff stops doing rounds at 2 am), we shouldn't document those students because the really "bad kids" don't come back until 3:30 or 4 am.
2) And after I explained that my staff and I don't assign charges or decide sanctions in these cases, she suggested we should have just not turned in the documentations.
How's that for ethical???
Seriously, what are you teaching your children???
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