Changes

Last TV show I watched: "How I Met Your Mother" (I talked to my friends from Austria today and they said this is the latest show they're obsessed with, so I had to check it out.)

Book I'm currently reading: Emma (Jane Austein)


It's a new academic year and a lot has changed. We've had a lot of turnover in our ResLife department; about half the staff is new. Only one of my RAs from last year returned to the position and she stayed in the same building, while I moved, so we are not working together anymore. Yes, I have moved...I'm responsible for a different living learning community this year: the CHANGE Living Learning Community. [For those of you, who are new to my blog: I work as a Hall Director/Academic Adviser in a first-year residence hall.] I have two graduate assistants this year, one who lives in the building with me and co-supervises the staff with me and one, whose main responsiblity is the academic advising of some of my residents. I have 10 Resident Assistants, one returner and nine new staff members.

But having a lot of new staff isn't the only change...I've developed a Residential Curriculum for my living learning community, which my staff is now implementing. I'm teaching a course for my living learning community. I'm chairing a committee, the professional staff training committee. I'm co-advising the National Residence Hall Honorary.
Those of you, who have been following my blog know that I co-advised the Residence Hall Association and it was my favorite thing about my job. I asked to get to advise the organization again, thinking not just of my own happiness (even though I'll admit that it was a huge factor) but also the importance of an advisor providing continuity to an organization...but for whatever reason, instead of me, three new advisors were chosen. It broke my heart. It may seem silly, but yes, I cried. I've been bitter and frustrated since, whenever the organization is mentioned. And I'm having a really hard time finding anything positive to say about those staff members, who had a say in this decision.
I feel like I was given the National Residence Hall Honorary in a large part to make me shut up - so I would still have that "advising experience" that I asked for. And I'm going to enjoy working with those students...but let's be honest: there is no need to have three advisors for an chapter of about 10 students. And I'm really not excited about working with my two co-advisors. *Sigh* I'll get over it eventually.

So with my responsibilities for the Residence Hall Association (RHA) gone, I have thrown myself head over heels into my living learning community. I live and breath "CHANGE." Over the past few weeks, I've spent every free minute hanging out with my RAs or walking around my building. I've developed closer relationships with most of my RAs than I ever had with my staff last year; and I already now a decent number of residents. But this weekend, for the first time, I realized that I'm starting to get drained. While RHA was still work, it got me out of the building. Now, I have no reason to ever leave here.

I also have a new supervisor this year. My old supervisor left (after just one year at our institution...hmm, what does that tell you?) and I miss her. I felt like I could talk to her. We didn't always agree, but she wasn't trying to run my life. This year, I'm dreading 1-on-1's because I feel like I constantly have to defend myself, my lifestyle, my attitude toward work. I'm asked for feedback, but when I give it, I'm attacked for what I said. I'm asked to share, but I feel like any information I spill will be used against me later on.

Don't get me wrong...a lot of things have improved from last year. I have the living learning community I wanted; I feel a lot more comfortable with my job responsibilites; I have two amazing graduate assistants and 10 fabulous RAs. But I feel lonely and misunderstood...I'm living in my bubble and I dread those times when I have to leave my building and talk to central staff.

So, let the drama continue. It's going to be an interesting year.